No More “Should’s”

No More “Should’s”

When I think of the things I’ve GOT to do

I feel depleted before I’m through

I feel defeated with all “to do”

And then I hurt instead.

What I think of tasks I “SHOULD” complete

I feel exhausted and not replete.

I feel reluctant and get cold feet

And then just stay in bed.

When will I give myself a break?

And enjoy my life? Stay home and bake?

Or play and dance for just joy’s sake

With those I’d love to see?

A pinched nerve here, cancer there —

The Universe has a plan.

If I won’t heed my wisdom’s call

It will help me understand.

There’s NOTHING that I’ve “got” to do

No “should” will help me carry through

No need to feel I’m stuck in glue.

Just give myself a break!

Take a pause from the constant grind

Nurture your body. Clear your mind.

Tune out the dull cacophony.

Tune in to synchronicity.

It’s all God’s timing.

It’s all God’s plan.

Relax your ego, just be a fan

Of inner guidance, of your Soul’s desires

No longer in these tangled mires

So breathe, my Darling,

Just breathe and breathe

And stop and rest and then conceive

A life of joy

A life of fun

Your next phase, Dear, has just begun.

No more “got to’s.” No more “shoulds”

Just rest and play – feel free and good.

You can do it! It’s the only way. 

To stop the hurting, to save the day.

Just one breath, and then one more

You’ll love to see what’s then in store.

For you, for yours, for the world to share.

Make the time, My Love, for your own SELF care!

Dearest Mom


Dearest Mom,

Happy Mother’s Day.

It’s our first one in different dimensions. The last few you’ve been on a different continent in a different part of the world.

Now you are in Heaven, and I am here.

And still I feel your presence, like the praying mantis that landed on my shoulder in Jerry’s kitchen on the day we buried you in Israel.

I know you are watching, kvelling, advising, loving and protecting me.

I have your picture in my office, and when I video tape myself for the internet, your picture is on a table and you are looking over my right shoulder.

I know you are proud of me, and still think I spend too much time on my computer, but at least we have some buyers this week!

I know you are happy that I have a very good man living with me, devoted to me, caring for me, and I am no longer alone.

I know you are with our loved ones, free from your diminished body and mind, and fully present for them and for me.

I miss you, Mom, but I missed you more when you were alive but not here. That’s not true when I write it. I still could see you and tell you I loved you and have you smile at me sometimes.

I don’t think I’ve ever really processed the pain and fear and sadness and remorse and ultimate powerlessness I felt in the last two months of your life.

I abdicated control to Jerry and Israel, and I regretted deeply their lack of hospice.

I am so very sorry for all the suffering you endured in the name of trying to save you.

I know Jerry meant well, and Israel meant well, but I could see the suffering in your eyes, hear the moans that you made, and saw the look of “help me, save me, let me go” that was in your eyes for the 12 days I spend with you in January.

And when Dana called me in tears, or Healey or Erin, and we all knew that you wanted to be free of the pain, even as Jerry was fighting for your life, it was such an impossible time for all of us.

When I saw your lifeless face in the morgue, I could feel your soul’s presence in the corner of the room, letting me know that you were okay.

I couldn’t cry at your funeral, though I was present and grateful for all who showed up that day to join us as we said goodbye to you.

Jerry’s kids were all in tears, and when I read your eulogy, I was sorry I didn’t speak from my heart instead. But I knew you knew all I wanted to say.

The tears finally came when I said Yiskor with Jerry on the Friday night before shabbas – and before I left Israel to come home.

I loved being around that table of family, sitting in your seat, wishing you were still there.

But we had 97 years – or rather 72 years — together, and they were all wonderful. Truly Mom, you are the Best.

You were always a “little girl” at heart the baby of your family.

But you were also the biggest heart in ours.

Filled with unconditional love, non-judgment, and a capacity to forgive and forget that knew no limits.

You had unlimited hugs, scooches, back rubs, and for most of our lives, chicken soup.

You weathered Daddy’s storms, and continued on without him to forge a life for yourself filled with dates, gambling, shopping, Fox news, great outfits and the constant joy that just being with your family brought you.

You traveled to and from Israel and made it easy for us to ship you back and forth.

You never lost sight of what was going on in all of our lives, and you always had an encouraging word whenever it was needed.

You never missed an opportunity to comment on my hair.

This is my first Mother’s Day without you, Mom, and Jerry’s too.

But your best job of all was fostering the intense love and closeness that we feel as siblings. We drive each other crazy, but we each know home is in each other’s hearts.

You raised a magnificent son, Mom, All that coddling and ironing and supporting paid off. His heart is endless. And even though he has a bit more of Daddy’s volatility than I do (at least overtly), his nashooma is a direct reflection of the best of both of you.

So thanks for my brother, dearest Mother, and for his family that took you in in Israel, and has me and my kids surrounded by love.

Thank you for your legacy of love, Mom… for showing me how to mother and how to adore my progeny with complete devotion.

That’s what you did and still do.

I hope Jerry can feel your presence as I do. I do know you’re in Heaven watching out for both of us – for all of us.

Thank you, Mom, beyond all words…. for being you, and helping me be me.

I’m still a work in progress, but you hold the blueprint, and I keep trying to emulate what I felt from you all my life.

I’ll be grateful for the times I see my kids.

I won’t make them feel guilty for anything they do not do.

I will appreciate every moment, and celebrate family.

Thanks for all the wisdom, lessons, and life example.

I’ll do more to follow in your footsteps, and I know my children will thank me for it.

God bless you always, Dearest Mom, as he has blessed us with having you.

Give my love to all at the Table – and thank Daddy, too, for giving us life.

Love you both…. so much…. xoxo

I’ll Meet You There

As our current life situations create opportunities for reconciliation, I am inspired by, and grateful to Rumi, who said:

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there.”

Sending love to all and sharing my own meditation today:

There is a place beyond doing and not doing, and I'll meet you there.
We will just be at peace, receptive, open, present, grateful, joy-filled, loving,
and all you have to do to get there is to breathe.

Any thoughts that arise can pass gently
as you allow yourself to meet the universe and be part of it
without needing to make any changes.

Just accept what is.

Allow yourself to feel.
Allow yourself to share.
Allow yourself to authentically show up
moment by moment.

It's the best version of yourself.

There is a field beyond doing and not doing,
and I'll meet you there.

My Song

Mary Oliver's passed away this week, and I didn't realize how much of what Mary had written had touched my life. I looked up many of her quotes, and she wrote “When Death Comes” which ends:

“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”

Thank you, Mary, for this and all the other wisdom you shared with the world. Reading your words inspired me to make this photo and write my own thoughts.

“What Song am I Meant to Sing?”

I think it may be the lyrics that pop up at no certain time
with a melody only I hear at first
and then is shared
My song is one of gratitude, hope and miracles.
My song is one of LOVE.
My song comes in whispers
and I need to be quiet to hear.
My song fills me with joy
and fills my life with meaning.
My song is your song and your song is mine.
Let’s sing out loud together.
(WHAT is the SONG YOU are meant to sing?)

"I’ve experienced significant improvements in my relationship with my husband and children."


"I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce."


“We’re building an entirely new marriage.”


“Linda guided us mindfully through the impact of divorce."


“I came to Linda seeking mediated divorce documents and came out with nothing but peace and hope."


“I am breaking free from destructive patterns.”


“Linda helped me love all ‘Parts’ of my SELF!”


“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”


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