Start Over

Happy New Year!

It's a time for love, forgiveness, compassion, and joy.

And it's also a time to “start over.”

I recently had a big disagreement with someone I love very much.

He believed he was right and I was wrong, and I believed he was wrong and I was right.

We had a standoff of cold interactions for awhile. I'm sure he wanted to unload his reasoning on me, and I wanted him to understand my position.

Instead we kept telling ourselves the same stories about each other. “He always…., she never …..”

We looked at each other through the same filters of judgment and blame and disillusionment until finally the pain of the estrangement became worse than the need to be right.

One of us reached out and requested we “start over.”

What that means is you just begin again.

You pick up in the moment. You find the best of who you are.

You relate from your heart.

You let go of all the stories you've told yourself and others about the other person.

You change the filters through which you're judging that person and stop judging, and clear your vision. And you give yourself and the other person a chance to show up as their best self and just begin again.

You can go back to the best of who you were before the argument. Or you could decide to even go forward with more love, and compassion, and forgiveness, and understanding, first of yourself and then of the other person.

Pick someone and start over today by being your best self, letting go of all your old stories, changing the old filters, and relating from your heart.

From my heart to yours, happy holidays.
Happy new year.
Happy everything.

You can “start over” to improve your relationship by taking my FREE Relationship Assessment,

Or join me in my HeartCentered Connections Community on Facebook where we can connect in Facebook LIVES.

Hi, it's Linda. I'm at the Botanic coming to you live cuz I wanted to talk about what kind of relationship can you start over with right now And in our Compassionate Communication Community, we talk a lot about connecting to our highest self, letting go of limiting beliefs and judgments,unburdening, pain from the past and relating from our heart. 

But what does that really mean?

Instead, you could take a breath right now, and as I look around at the beautiful scenery, think about a relationshipbright now that might be strained or might be in conflict. 

And see if in just a few moments you can start over.

When my children were younger and teenagers and we might be

fighting about something, one or both of them might come in in the middle of an argument crying and say, “Can we start over?” 

And what that means is it doesn't matter who said what, who did what, who was right, who was wrong, what did you need to do over.

It just means start over. 

Just take a breath and see if you can pick up from the last time you felt good about that person and go back there and do it again. 

I have some friends and some of them aren't talking to their children, some aren't talking to their siblings, and there's a way to have boundaries without disconnecting. 

Even if the other person might not be someone that you want to communicate with rightnow, you don't have to communicate with them. You can just start over.

Take a deep breath, give yourself permission not to replay the old

stories, to change the filter by which you're seeing the other person, and to allow yourself to begin to think that you can start over. 

People can change,Situations can change. 

And forgiveness is a gift that sets you free

You can set boundaries. You can decide you do or don't want to be connected to that person. 

But if you give yourself permission to start over right now and take off that filter through which you're judging them or yourself, and stop believing the stories you keep telling yourself, and just give yourself a clean slate, then what you can do is change the energy between the two of you. 

And as you change the energy, the relationship changes. 

Give it a try. 

Think about somebody right now with whom you're having a convict or a strain. 

Take a few deep breaths, belly breaths where you can really get to your higher self.

Drop down from your head into your heart and compassionately

communicate to yourself first. 

Let yourself know that you understand you have some hard feelings or hurt feelings or misunderstood feelings. And then see if you could turn that compassion outward because the other person probably does too. 

They may have similar hurt feelings and sadness, and you can put

yourself in their shoes for just a minute so that you can be compassionate.

And there's a great guided meditation I have on my website. You can get it in your Compassionate Communication Care Kit at

You can get a guided meditation to help you get to Self. 

And when you're “in Self,” you'll see that our human parts that rub up against another’s don't have to get in the way of a divine soul connection.

We can connect divinely with other people. 


So I'm at the Botanic Garden waxing philosophically bringing you to see the glorious vistage is here and inviting you to start over with somebody right now. 

And even if you don't tell them you're starting over, just do. 

And you may find that they're going to reach out to you and you can begin a conversation without processing all the feelings of the past, even though that's good to do.

Both of you want to. But the other thing is to see the highest in

each one of you. To let all your human parts that judge just relax while you go to the top of the mountain from your highest and best Self and have compassion for yourself and have compassion for the

other party. 

Even if you decide not to connect, you'll see there's more peace. 


You can start over with a relationship that brings you peace, brings you joy, and gives you a way to get off the hook of whatever you're telling yourself. 

We're at the Botanic Gardens

I'm about to go to the Rose Garden and we're talking about starting over. 

And just like plants need to be replanted, relationships can heal and transform.

A few months ago there were tulips. Now here's roses. 

Relationships can take on different flavors. 

Compassionate communication,sets you free. 

Whenever I come here, I just reconnect to myself, to my soul, to the earth.

if you have any questions about how to start over in a

relationship, just ask me. I'm a pro.

I'm a pro at starting over with parents and children, ex-spouses and in-laws and all kinds of people with whom you could have conflict, but you don't need to maintain the conflict, especially when there's so much beauty in the world.

Take time to smell the roses, take time to get outside, and most of all give yourself permission to start over. 

And again, arose by any other name is still divine. And you are divine. Thanks for joining me. Sending love, light and hopes that wherever you're having an issue in a relationship, just start over. It really works. 

Sending love…

Dearest Mom


Dearest Mom,

Happy Mother’s Day.

It’s our first one in different dimensions. The last few you’ve been on a different continent in a different part of the world.

Now you are in Heaven, and I am here.

And still I feel your presence, like the praying mantis that landed on my shoulder in Jerry’s kitchen on the day we buried you in Israel.

I know you are watching, kvelling, advising, loving and protecting me.

I have your picture in my office, and when I video tape myself for the internet, your picture is on a table and you are looking over my right shoulder.

I know you are proud of me, and still think I spend too much time on my computer, but at least we have some buyers this week!

I know you are happy that I have a very good man living with me, devoted to me, caring for me, and I am no longer alone.

I know you are with our loved ones, free from your diminished body and mind, and fully present for them and for me.

I miss you, Mom, but I missed you more when you were alive but not here. That’s not true when I write it. I still could see you and tell you I loved you and have you smile at me sometimes.

I don’t think I’ve ever really processed the pain and fear and sadness and remorse and ultimate powerlessness I felt in the last two months of your life.

I abdicated control to Jerry and Israel, and I regretted deeply their lack of hospice.

I am so very sorry for all the suffering you endured in the name of trying to save you.

I know Jerry meant well, and Israel meant well, but I could see the suffering in your eyes, hear the moans that you made, and saw the look of “help me, save me, let me go” that was in your eyes for the 12 days I spend with you in January.

And when Dana called me in tears, or Healey or Erin, and we all knew that you wanted to be free of the pain, even as Jerry was fighting for your life, it was such an impossible time for all of us.

When I saw your lifeless face in the morgue, I could feel your soul’s presence in the corner of the room, letting me know that you were okay.

I couldn’t cry at your funeral, though I was present and grateful for all who showed up that day to join us as we said goodbye to you.

Jerry’s kids were all in tears, and when I read your eulogy, I was sorry I didn’t speak from my heart instead. But I knew you knew all I wanted to say.

The tears finally came when I said Yiskor with Jerry on the Friday night before shabbas – and before I left Israel to come home.

I loved being around that table of family, sitting in your seat, wishing you were still there.

But we had 97 years – or rather 72 years — together, and they were all wonderful. Truly Mom, you are the Best.

You were always a “little girl” at heart the baby of your family.

But you were also the biggest heart in ours.

Filled with unconditional love, non-judgment, and a capacity to forgive and forget that knew no limits.

You had unlimited hugs, scooches, back rubs, and for most of our lives, chicken soup.

You weathered Daddy’s storms, and continued on without him to forge a life for yourself filled with dates, gambling, shopping, Fox news, great outfits and the constant joy that just being with your family brought you.

You traveled to and from Israel and made it easy for us to ship you back and forth.

You never lost sight of what was going on in all of our lives, and you always had an encouraging word whenever it was needed.

You never missed an opportunity to comment on my hair.

This is my first Mother’s Day without you, Mom, and Jerry’s too.

But your best job of all was fostering the intense love and closeness that we feel as siblings. We drive each other crazy, but we each know home is in each other’s hearts.

You raised a magnificent son, Mom, All that coddling and ironing and supporting paid off. His heart is endless. And even though he has a bit more of Daddy’s volatility than I do (at least overtly), his nashooma is a direct reflection of the best of both of you.

So thanks for my brother, dearest Mother, and for his family that took you in in Israel, and has me and my kids surrounded by love.

Thank you for your legacy of love, Mom… for showing me how to mother and how to adore my progeny with complete devotion.

That’s what you did and still do.

I hope Jerry can feel your presence as I do. I do know you’re in Heaven watching out for both of us – for all of us.

Thank you, Mom, beyond all words…. for being you, and helping me be me.

I’m still a work in progress, but you hold the blueprint, and I keep trying to emulate what I felt from you all my life.

I’ll be grateful for the times I see my kids.

I won’t make them feel guilty for anything they do not do.

I will appreciate every moment, and celebrate family.

Thanks for all the wisdom, lessons, and life example.

I’ll do more to follow in your footsteps, and I know my children will thank me for it.

God bless you always, Dearest Mom, as he has blessed us with having you.

Give my love to all at the Table – and thank Daddy, too, for giving us life.

Love you both…. so much…. xoxo

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“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”


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