Join Linda Kroll, therapist, mediator, attorney, and the author of Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Linda is offering a series of videos to introduce Compassionate Mediation® as a evolutionary and healing process of conflict resolution.
You can heal and transform your relationship from your highest and best SELF for the benefit of all concerned. You can learn more and get FREE gifts and resources at https://lindakroll.com/
Compassionate Mediation® is a transformational process of conflict resolution that will help you add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. .
For a free chapter of the book or for more FREE GIFTS and RESOURCES, please visit https://lindakroll.com.
Be Your Best SELF
Let go of limiting beliefs.
Unburden pain from the past.
Relate from your heart.
Compassionate Mediation® is a process that I developed after studying for 35 years. I studied Internal Family Systems with Dick Schwartz and I studied at the Chopra Center with @Davidji. I had the privilege of studying with these wonderful mentors – and many others, including SARK. I am deeply grateful to all of them.
Compassionate Mediation® is a process that I hope will be used around the world whenever there’s conflict.
It invites people to come from their highest self, recognize that we’re all one, and work out the details of the negotiations without getting into the human condition of defensiveness and reactivity and blame and judgment.
The first step in my version of Compassionate Communication is to connect to your best SELF.
Most of us aren’t in our best self all of the time. I’m defining SELF (as used in IFS therapy) as that calm, compassionate place inside your heart where you’re not triggered by anyone else’s actions or reactions.
When we’re “in SELF,” we’re calm, we’re clear, we’re compassionate – but we’re usually not in self. We’re in “Parts..”
And the parts that we’re in – we either EXILE, MANAGE, or get EXTREME.
We EXILE some parts and push them aside and don’t tell our partner that we’re really sad and scared. And instead we try to MANAGE by being nice or pleasing or being stoic or being hardworking or pretending we’re “in SELF.”
We pretend everything’s okay, but we’re really feeling a lot of these hurt, sad, scared, maybe even angry feelings that we’re not sharing.
So instead, we do things to numb as an EXTREME reaction to avoid the pain of the Exiles that the Managers can’t contain.
We stay real busy. we exercise too much. We drink, we take drugs. We go have an affair, we get depressed, we get enraged. We do a lot of different things, but these are all human reactions to a very painful, scary condition.
And when we’re “in SELF, then we are less reactive and can be more responsive.
HOW DO YOU BECOME MORE “in SELF?”
The first way is to just take a breath.
You may have voices in your head asking “Do I want to stay in this relationship or do I want to go? “Can Iput my walk around my heart down and trust again? Can I be safe and happy in this relationship?”
You can take a breath, come to the present moment, and stop regurgitating the past and what they did to us then. And we’re not projecting that into the future as if it’s going be that way forever.
But we’re present. And in that present moment, there’s a lot more possibility. T
The second way to get to SELF is to recognize that we have these Parts and we speak for them, but not from them.
So it’s okay to say from your higher SELF, “There’s a part of me that’s angry because of something. There’s a part of me that’s scared when you do that. I’m feeling sad because …..”
When we’re talking from SELF. It’s a whole different dialogue with a more calm and compassionate energy.
When you are compassionately communicating, You are
connecting to your best SELF.
letting go of your limiting beliefs and judgments about the other person (or yourself)
unburdening the pain from the past, not carrying it with you and projecting it into the future.
relating from your heart.
Because when you’re in your higher SELF, it’s safe to open your heart.
It may mean you’ll be setting more boundaries. It may mean that you choose to leave, but you can do it from your higher SELF, with kindness and compassion.
I wrote the book to help you – Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Compassionate Mediation® is a transformational process of conflict resolution that will help you add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. .
Whether you decide to stay or go, you have to get to a place of compassion. You have to get to a place where you
can really relate to each other with respect, with kindness, with empathy,
where you really listen to what’s underneath the anger that your partner might be showing you.
You really understand the hurt and the fear and the sadness, and
you really open your heart to empathize even if you’ve done it many times before.
As you give empathy, it enriches you no matter what your partner is going to do.
Compassionate Meditation® is helpful even if it’s just you who learns this process.
I have shared this process with an individual who’s come to my office confused about what to do to help their relationship.
I’ve shared it with couples that, one wants to stay and the other one wants to go. And that happens a lot of times.
And I’ve used it in mediation for divorce as well.
The first step is to come from your BEST SELF.
The second step, create a compassionate relationship. Practice the miracle of empathy, where you start talking about what you want with “I” messages instead of talking about your judgments with “you” messages.
Being able to talk with empathy means you have to have the five steps to receive what you want and need.
And those 5 steps are
you have to know what you want and need.
You have to know you deserve it.
You have to be willing to ask for it and
ready to receive it and
stay grateful.
So know what you want. Know you deserve it. Learn how to ask. Be willing to receive and stay grateful.
And that’s a process because many times, we’re in a relationship and we’ve spent our whole relationship taking care of other people. So we’ve lost sight of what we want and need.
Go back to that first step and nd out what makes you happy, and do that. Fill up with self-love, and then you’ll be more loving.
Take those five steps and you’ll begin to think about what it is you want and share that with your partner instead of what you don’t want.
I wrote the book to help you – Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Compassionate Mediation® is a transformational process of conflict resolution that will help you add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. .
This is for you if you’d like to heal and transform your relationship.
Compassionate Mediation® is a transformational and healing process of conflict resolution that will help you add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. https://lindakroll.com/compassionate-m…
Compassionate Mediation is for you.
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve
No two relationships are alike.
If you take a moment to tell me about yours,
I can offer you solutions to help you
make the changes you need now.
Compassionate Mediation® can help you if you are not sure about what you want to do about your relationship If you’re like many of my clients, you’re feeling: ⎪ stuck ⎪ confused ⎪ anxious ⎪ guilty ⎪ hopeful that you can change your relationship and add more passion ⎪ or scared that it may lead to a separation or divorce.
I’m Linda Kroll. I’m a therapist, mediator, attorney, Chopra-certified master teacher of meditation, yoga, perfect health. As of last year, I’m the author of Compassionate Mediation: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Island of Pain
If you’re on your own island of pain, feeling alone and lost and confused and scared, I want to help you find the bridge to wherever you’re supposed to go next. It doesn’t mean you have to take any steps. It just means you get the information you need so that when you’re ready to take a step you know that you have the information that will give you the best guidance.
My hope for you.
My intention is that you come out feeling more hopeful and see a possibility that you don’t see right now. I invite you to go to my website at Lindakroll.com and find the information that you need to get a free chapter of the book, to order the book, or just to learn more of the free gifts and resources that I have there.
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra Certified Master teacher of Meditation, Yoga and Ayurveda, I’m offering a series of videos to introduce Compassionate Mediation® as a evolutionary and healing process of conflict resolution.
You can heal and transform your relationship from your highest and best SELF for the benefit of all concerned.
You can improve all your relationships –
starting with the one you have with your SELF!
Compassionate Communication allows you to connect to your best SELF, letting go of limiting beliefs, unburdening pain from your past, and relate from your heart.
You will know how to speak for all PARTS of yourself with confidence and clarity, as you stay connected to others with compassion.
Watch the video and send questions to Linda@LindaKroll.com.
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve
No two relationships are alike.
If you take a moment to tell me about yours,
I can offer you solutions to help you
make the changes you need now.
