I am so thrilled and honored by the response I got from the IFS community about my Compassionate Mediation® Tools for Your Practice Now.
I’d really like to share with you the process that I’ve used for many years to help individuals and couples resolve conflict from their highest and best SELF.
You can get the Roadmap here (www.LindaKroll.com/Roadmap), and I also want to share with you some of the other tools of Compassionate Mediation — the genogram, the 5 Steps to Get What You Want and Need, the budget form, the Miracle of Empathy, talking with your children, and many more.
It’s an IFS-based program that incorporates self-leadership into conflict resolution.
And with all that’s going on in the world right now — with all the relationships that are being strained from either too much togetherness or too much separation, we can use these tools and impact our current clients and any future clients and teach them a new way to communicate.
Thank you so much for checking out Compassionate Mediation.
I look forward to sharing all that I can with you and having you use the tools that I’ve used for many years to make a difference in many people’s lives.
Thanks again, and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye for now.
With everything going on in the world right now, have you wondered how you could help more people communicate?
A lot of people are stuck in quarantine and they’re communicating with some very bad habits. They may be sarcastic, they may be withholding, they may be judgmental, they may be secretly harboring a hope that they’re going to separate once this quarantine is over. And they don’t know where to turn.
I want to offer you a process so that you can help them.
If you’re a therapist, a coach, a mediator, an attorney, clergy, a counselor, I want to talk to you about Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation will help you to help people communicate compassionately about every issue they’ve ever considered.
And it’s different — it’s different from marriage counseling, it’s different from divorce counseling, and it’s different from typical mediation.
Because in a typical mediation, both parties are ready to get divorced, they come and talk about a divorce, and that’s all they talk about. In marriage counseling, people are often feeling that the only thing they can talk about is how to save their marriage.
But what if they’ve secretly thought about, what would it be like to leave? How would I feel if I could find someone new? What if we could stop the fighting and start over somewhere else? And if they are having those thoughts, they can’t really invest in marriage counseling as fully as they might, if they were able to talk about everything.
Compassionate Mediation fosters a safe forum for talking about everything. They can talk about their money issues, their parenting roles, their finances, their sex life, and you will have the skillset to help them do that.
I’m offering a certification program in Compassion Mediation.
So I’m Linda Kroll, I wrote the book, Compassionate Mediation, How to Add Passion to your Marriage or Compassion to your Divorce. And I’ve created a six hour online video program that follows the book. So if you go to CompassionateMediationProgram.com, you can see there’s a six hour video series that can help an individual or a couple truly, either add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce. And it follows the book and it’s available now.
If you are a professional who helps individuals and couples then my certification process is for you. And what that is, it’s going to be a three level process. The first one starts this fall, and it’s going to be eight weeks, two hours a week, where I give you every detail of the process that I created.
And what’s compassionate mediation is, is a process where you become an expert in conflict resolution, where you help foster compassionate communication, and you help an individual and couples create a relationship that they truly desire and deserve. And how do you do that? Well, the course has the A to Z training on what you need to know. So it helps you do an initial interview, so you get all the information you need to understand the dynamics, the family dynamics, the family of origin dynamics, how they relate now, what parts they get triggered with with each other, and how to help them get to their highest and best self. And then you can help them create a compassionate relationship, you will help them learn the miracle of empathy.
And there are many couples that come to my office and either one or both is ready to leave the union. But instead they start talking about the issues that have divided them. But instead of being reactive, and angry, and yelling, and withholding, instead of doing that, they learn what it means to come from their highest and best self. And what that means is they’re calm, compassionate, creative, curious, connected, clear, confident, all the C words of the internal family systems, IFS therapy that I practice. That helps people really relate from their heart. So they connect to their best self, they let go of the limiting beliefs and judgments that they have about their partner for themselves. They in burdened the pain from the past, with all the backlog of feelings that they can let go of and they learn how to relate from their
So just imagine, imagine a couple or an individual who right now is sitting in quarantine, wondering what’s going to happen when they get out. And you can reach them online or in person, but online as well, and teach them these skills because I’ll teach them to you. I’ll give you the handouts, the templates, the scripts, the meditations. All of the information you need so that you can help them get to their best self, create a compassionate relationship. And then help them explore all their options because many people don’t know they have options. They think they have to stay in a situation that isn’t meeting their needs, or they think they have to leave. And when they think they have leave, they’re not ready so they stay stuck. But you can help them with all kinds of options.
And the options can be getting into counseling, individually or together, an option could be creating more time together, an option could be planning a separation or planning a separation within the house, or just going to their own corners and giving each other a break. So there’s lots of options, including what to know if they were going to separate or what to know if they were going to get divorced. And that’s all the information that I give you to give them.
So, if you’re a therapist, you don’t have to lose your clients to mediators or attorneys. You’ll have the information to give them, to talk about every issue they need to talk about. If they’re going to talk about property division or maintenance or child support, you learn from me how to have these conversations. And then you help them process all those feelings that come up from the conversations they’ll have. And that can go on for weeks and months and sometimes even years. And you’re there supporting them the whole time.
And if you’re a coach, perhaps you don’t know how to get new clients. But if you learn how to become certified in compassionate mediation, you’ll have your own expertise and you’ll be able to reach out to attorneys and financial planners and therapists and clergy, and let them know that you can coach people in this process. And help them facilitate either a new and better relationship or a peaceful and respectful separation and divorce. And again, you’re coaching them, you’re advising them with all of the information, all of the data that I give here.
And if you’re a mediator, I’m a mediator, a therapist, and an attorney. And in mediation, typical mediation, you often see the couple act out their reactivity in your office. So what compassionate mediation does, it gives you a whole new skillset so that you can work with the couple and really help them heal. And I have to tell you, there are many times when one or both parties have come to my office, seeking mediation, seeking to get a divorce. And in the course of learning how to come from their highest and best self, and relate with compassion and empathy, they start to talk about their issues in ways that they hadn’t for years. And they actually get to a place of understanding, compassion and forgiveness and that’s when miracles happen. Then they create a new relationship together, so that’s possible. And with compassionate mediation, you’re given the skills to offer that besides just a one way route to divorce.
And if you’re an attorney, how many times have you been in a room with your clients, where over and over again, what you find is that they are fighting and you are being a therapist. Or you get late night calls because you’re dealing with their emotional reactivity. Well, what compassionate mediation does for attorneys is gives you a skillset and a vernacular and a bunch of people with whom to collaborate and refer. So that you’re no longer the therapist without a skillset on helping them both have compassion for what they’re feeling, compassion for what their partner’s feeling, and a way to hear you and go through the process. It’s much calmer and much clearer and much more connected and confident than they might’ve been without this process.
And if you’re clergy, what you can do is you can bring spirituality back to a party. Because even if compassionate mediation leads to a new marriage, that’s a wonderful opportunity. If it does lead to a separation or divorce, you have the opportunity to create with a couple, a spiritual transformation that allows them to remain friends and create a restructures family. Where they have respect and kindness and their children, if they have children, feel safe. And you can do that with the skills in compassionate mediation.
So I’d love for you to check out the certification program. In the meantime, you can let me know at lindakrolle.com/tools and sign up for the compassionate mediation introductory course and from there, the certification will start soon. So I look forward to staying connected. Let me know if you have any questions, send them to me at lindakroll.com. And I hope to see you in the certification program where we all together, can help make this world a safer, saner, and more compassionate place. Thanks for checking this out, talk to you soon. Bye for now.
During this time of stress and uncertainty, relationships can be strained to their limits.
I want to share with you my proven transformational process for relationship healing Compassionate Mediation®.
Compassionate Mediation® is NOT just for individuals or couples considering divorce.
This process works with clients who aren’t worried about leaving, but want to improve their relationship with SELF-led communication.
Any relationship that needs healing or transformation will benefit — even if only one member of the relationship learns these skills.
Sometimes the willingness to consider what an ending may look like provides the impetus to create a new beginning together.
I’ll provide you with methods, strategies, and handouts I’ve used successfully with thousands of individuals and couples for over 35 years.
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra-Certified teacher of meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda, I have created a process that covers emotional and spiritual healing along with financial and legal information and support.
Families need not be broken, but can peacefully and respectfully restructured.
Together, we can improve relationships – and even change the face of divorce – one heart at a time.too
It’s a time for love, forgiveness, compassion, and joy.
And it’s also a time to “start over.”
I recently had a big disagreement with someone I love very much.
He believed he was right and I was wrong, and I believed he was wrong and I was right.
We had a standoff of cold interactions for awhile. I’m sure he wanted to unload his reasoning on me, and I wanted him to understand my position.
Instead we kept telling ourselves the same stories about each other. “He always…., she never …..”
We looked at each other through the same filters of judgment and blame and disillusionment until finally the pain of the estrangement became worse than the need to be right.
One of us reached out and requested we “start over.”
What that means is you just begin again.
You pick up in the moment. You find the best of who you are.
You relate from your heart.
You let go of all the stories you’ve told yourself and others about the other person.
You change the filters through which you’re judging that person and stop judging, and clear your vision. And you give yourself and the other person a chance to show up as their best self and just begin again.
You can go back to the best of who you were before the argument. Or you could decide to even go forward with more love, and compassion, and forgiveness, and understanding, first of yourself and then of the other person.
Pick someone and start over today by being your best self, letting go of all your old stories, changing the old filters, and relating from your heart.
From my heart to yours, happy holidays. Happy new year. Happy everything.
Hi, it’s Linda. I’m at the Botanic coming to you live cuz I wanted to talk about what kind of relationship can you start over with right now And in our Compassionate Communication Community, we talk a lot about connecting to our highest self, letting go of limiting beliefs and judgments,unburdening, pain from the past and relating from our heart.
But what does that really mean?
Instead, you could take a breath right now, and as I look around at the beautiful scenery, think about a relationshipbright now that might be strained or might be in conflict.
And see if in just a few moments you can start over.
When my children were younger and teenagers and we might be
fighting about something, one or both of them might come in in the middle of an argument crying and say, “Can we start over?”
And what that means is it doesn’t matter who said what, who did what, who was right, who was wrong, what did you need to do over.
It just means start over.
Just take a breath and see if you can pick up from the last time you felt good about that person and go back there and do it again.
I have some friends and some of them aren’t talking to their children, some aren’t talking to their siblings, and there’s a way to have boundaries without disconnecting.
Even if the other person might not be someone that you want to communicate with rightnow, you don’t have to communicate with them. You can just start over.
Take a deep breath, give yourself permission not to replay the old
stories, to change the filter by which you’re seeing the other person, and to allow yourself to begin to think that you can start over.
People can change,Situations can change.
And forgiveness is a gift that sets you free.
You can set boundaries. You can decide you do or don’t want to be connected to that person.
But if you give yourself permission to start over right now and take off that filter through which you’re judging them or yourself, and stop believing the stories you keep telling yourself, and just give yourself a clean slate, then what you can do is change the energy between the two of you.
And as you change the energy, the relationship changes.
Give it a try.
Think about somebody right now with whom you’re having a convict or a strain.
Take a few deep breaths, belly breaths where you can really get to your higher self.
Drop down from your head into your heart and compassionately
communicate to yourself first.
Let yourself know that you understand you have some hard feelings or hurt feelings or misunderstood feelings. And then see if you could turn that compassion outward because the other person probably does too.
They may have similar hurt feelings and sadness, and you can put
yourself in their shoes for just a minute so that you can be compassionate.
And there’s a great guided meditation I have on my website. You can get it in your Compassionate Communication Care Kit at www.LindaKroll.com/CCC
You can get a guided meditation to help you get to Self.
And when you’re “in Self,” you’ll see that our human parts that rub up against another’s don’t have to get in the way of a divine soul connection.
We can connect divinely with other people.
*****
So I’m at the Botanic Garden waxing philosophically bringing you to see the glorious vistage is here and inviting you to start over with somebody right now.
And even if you don’t tell them you’re starting over, just do.
And you may find that they’re going to reach out to you and you can begin a conversation without processing all the feelings of the past, even though that’s good to do.
Both of you want to. But the other thing is to see the highest in
each one of you. To let all your human parts that judge just relax while you go to the top of the mountain from your highest and best Self and have compassion for yourself and have compassion for the
other party.
Even if you decide not to connect, you’ll see there’s more peace.
****
You can start over with a relationship that brings you peace, brings you joy, and gives you a way to get off the hook of whatever you’re telling yourself.
We’re at the Botanic Gardens
I’m about to go to the Rose Garden and we’re talking about starting over.
And just like plants need to be replanted, relationships can heal and transform.
A few months ago there were tulips. Now here’s roses.
Relationships can take on different flavors.
Compassionate communication,sets you free.
Whenever I come here, I just reconnect to myself, to my soul, to the earth.
if you have any questions about how to start over in a
relationship, just ask me. I’m a pro.
I’m a pro at starting over with parents and children, ex-spouses and in-laws and all kinds of people with whom you could have conflict, but you don’t need to maintain the conflict, especially when there’s so much beauty in the world.
Take time to smell the roses, take time to get outside, and most of all give yourself permission to start over.
And again, arose by any other name is still divine. And you are divine. Thanks for joining me. Sending love, light and hopes that wherever you’re having an issue in a relationship, just start over. It really works.
My heart goes out to all of us for the suffering in the world.
We can make 2024 a much better year with more empathy and compassion.
We will find ways to mediate to a middle ground where we will all be safe.
Thich Nhat Hanh says:“To reconcile conflicting parties, we must have the ability to understand the suffering of both sides.If we take sides, it is impossible to do the work of reconciliation. And humans want to take sides. That is why the situation gets worse and worse.Are there people who are still available to both sides? They need not do much.They need only do one thing, go to one side and tell all about the suffering endured by the other side, and go to the other side and tell all about the suffering endured by this side.That is our chance for peace. That can change the situation.”
We are all suffering.We are all exhausted, depleted, and sometimes hopeless.
Ther are things we can do NOW to make things better today!
Practice compassion for yourself and others.
Feel empathy for someone with whom you have conflict.
Don’t seek to fix, desire to understand.
Don’t try to change another, aspire to accept.
Remember we all feel the sadness, fears, pain…
And we all have the same capacity for kindness and love.
Foster more of the latter (kindness and love)To douse the flames of those feelings we exile (sadness, fear, pain)
Stop trying to “manage” away from your life.
Go into your heart.
Breathe and let your SELF-awareness expand.
Share it with all your parts.
Share it with the world – starting now – with one breath…
Compassionate Mediation incorporates IFS therapy, higher consciousness, and other modalities to help an individual or couple to talk about their options.
Many times people don’t know what their options are.
They come in to see me, they’re unhappy, but they don’t know if they want to stay or go. They’ve thought about leaving, but a separation sounds scary. They’ve thought about a divorce, they don’t know what to do next. They don’t want to go talk to a lawyer because it makes it too real.
Using the principles of IFS, what I’m also offering you is the information and the framework for delivering that information that makes you an expert in a newly evolving field of Compassionate Mediation®.
My hope for the future is that if someone feels that they’re having conflict in their relationship, they want to go to someone who also has the tools of Compassionate Mediation so they can talk about all their Parts and communicate from their highest and best SELF.
Maybe, just maybe one or both of them has thought about separation or divorce. Usually they think about it for two to ten years before they act on it.
What Compassionate Mediation does is offer them the OPTION to add passion to your marriage, or compassion to your divorce.
It’s the same skill-set – to talk about a new and better marriage – or a peaceful and respectful divorce.
My first one or two sessions are exactly the same — even if people are coming strictly for mediation. They learn the skills of Compassionate Communicaiton first.
I want them to access and understand how to speak from their higher self, I want them to understand what parts means, in terms of their own parts and their partner’s parts. I want to teach them that there is a way to empathize. “You may choose to leave, but you can still be empathetic.”
And I want to help them create a compassionate relationship because even if the relationship ends, then it will create a new beginning of two restructured families.
In terms of how to integrate this, there’s a lot of information that I’m going to offer you.
Once you have that in your skill-set, you’ll know that should somebody come into your office for whatever reason.
People come in with eating disorders. People come in depressed. People come in with anxiety. And what’s really going on when you get underneath it is that they’re unhappy in their relationship, but they don’t want to talk about it because they think, “Well, if I talk about being unhappy, I’m going to have to leave. I don’t want to leave, so I don’t want to talk about it.”
But we help them talk about everything, and we help them see they can consider an ending, they can get their information, and then they can make informed, enlightened, empowered, SELF-lead decisions.
I blend emotional and spiritual healing along with financial and legal information and support. I want to share all of these tools with you so that you can expand your expertise, impact, and income.
We are also creating a community of professionals who are helping to change the face of divorce, one heart at a time.
If you are a therapist or coach, you can receive continuing education credits from the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC) and the International Coach Federation (ICF), respectively.
