I am happy to announce that I am starting a certification program for therapists and coaches, and also mediators, attorneys, clergy, counselors, to help people communicate better and to resolve their differences.
Over 30 years ago, I combined my degrees in therapy, mediation and law.
I've taken courses at the Chopra center. I'm a meditation teacher, yoga teacher and Aryuveda teacher.
I combine the psychological and spiritual, the legal and financial information that I want to give to you so that you can give it to your clients.
Together we can help change the face of divorce and conflict in general, one heart at a time.
I'd love to give you the benefit of my 35 years of degrees and experience to let you take this process of Compassionate Mediation, wherever you are in the world and use it to help your clients.
So please, you can check out that page, Linda kroll.com/certify and get all the details.
And if you're a therapist or a coach, you can get up to 40 hours of continuing education credits.
My course is approved by the National Board of Certified Counselors and by the International Coach Federation.
Please let me share all I've attained over the last 35 years and give it to you and let me know@lindaandlindakrolll.com. If you have any questions, if you want to talk to me personally and find out if it's a fit
I have the benefit of all of my scripts, templates, outlines, handouts contracts, and I'd like to share it with you. So please join me in the certification process.
Wouldn't it be nice if families could be peacefully and respectfully restructured,
I want to offer you the skill set that I've developed based on ifs therapy, based on higher consciousness, which includes the psychological and spiritual healing along with emotional and financial and legal support.
Do you ever wish you had tools for your couples in conflict?
I know there've been times when I was starting out. I used to watch my counseling sessions get hijacked by an angry participant. And until I learned how to practice the skills I want to share with you, I would often not know how to handle that angry participant, but with Compassionate Mediation, you help people connect with empathy and get to the pain and sadness underneath so that the anger dissipates.
Compassionate Mediation also helps you serve more clients because you become an expert in the field of conflict resolution. You offer a deeper healing and transformation and you have a unique skillset.
If your clients are considering a divorce, you know the information to share with them.
It doesn't mean you have to be a lawyer or a mediator. It means you have to know enough to talk about the issues that they need to resolve to move forward.
There are many times when people are in individual counseling or couples counseling and one, or both have thought about what would a divorce look like.
But they don't even want to talk about it because they're scared if they do it makes it too real.
Compassionate Mediation lets you talk about everything, including what a possible ending would look like so that they can create a new beginning.
The reason I am asking for your help is because there is so much I want to offer, and so many different choices I could be focusing on right now.
What might interest you?
Please click on any and all and I’ll know what to follow up with you in the future.
For individuals and couples:
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve video series with a PDF of my book, Compassionate Mediation®: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
This series helps you relate from you best SELF, decide what you truly want and need, and make positive changes in your relationships.
2. Should I Stay or Go Video Series, with the audio and e-book of “What You Need to Know If You’re Thinking of Divorce.”
If you’re not sure what you want to do about your current relationship, or you would like some inspiration to make positive changes now, this will help you figure it out.
This is a six hour video series of everything I've offered my clients as a therapist, mediator, attorney, Chopra-certified teacher of meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda.
That's all in my compassionate mediation program.
For Professionals – therapists, mediators, attorneys, coaches, and clergy:
Everything I've learned in the last 35 years, both personally and professionally, I want to give to you so that you can give it to your clients.
These are the current five options for me to offer you my guidance and support:
Create the Relationship You Desire video series plus a PDF of my book on Compassionate Mediation®: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Should I Stay or Go video series plus “What to Know about Divorce” ebook and audio, plus PDF of my book on Compassionate Divorce™: Changing the Face of Divorce, One Heart at a Time
Tools for Your Practice 3 hour workshop for professional CEU's for therapists and coaches.
Certification in Compassionate Mediation for Professionals.
Please let me know what you'd like me to focus on for you, and I’ll keep you posted on future offerings.
I also want to invite you to join me in the Compassionate Communication Community on Facebook, where hundreds from around the world are connecting, supporting, inspiring and enjoying the camaraderie and shared information.
I offer LIVE trainings in Compassionate Communication at 1:00 Central on Tuesdays, and trainings in Compassionate Mediation® at 5:00 Central on Thursdays.
I have other experts sharing their wisdom, and it’s a place to connect, network, share and give and receive support.
I also hope we’re all having FUN too,
I'm giving away as much as I can to share the benefit of all I've learned.
I look forward to connecting with you there, so that you can be sharing with me and the hundreds of people from all over the world who have already joined.
I look forward to staying connected and I'll talk to you soon.
With everything going on in the world right now, have you wondered how you could help more people communicate?
A lot of people are stuck in quarantine, and they're communicating with some very bad habits. They may be sarcastic, they may be withholding, they may be judgmental, they may be secretly harboring a hope that they're going to separate once this quarantine is over. And they don't know where to turn.
I want to offer you a process so that you can help them. If you're a therapist, a coach, a mediator, an attorney, clergy, a counselor, I want to talk to you about Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation will help you help your clients communicate compassionately about every issue they've ever considered.
And it's different, it's different from marriage counseling, it's different from divorce counseling, and it's different from typical mediation.
Because in a typical mediation, both parties are ready to get divorced, they come and talk about a divorce, and that's all they talk about.
In marriage counseling, people are often feeling that the only thing they can talk about is how to save their marriage. But what if they've secretly thought about, “What would it be like to leave? How would I feel if I could find someone new? What if we could stop the fighting and start over somewhere else?” And if they are having those thoughts, they can't really invest in marriage counseling as fully as they might, if they were able to talk about everything.
Compassionate Mediation fosters a safe forum for talking about everything. They can talk about their money issues, their parenting roles, their finances, their sex life, and you will have the skillset to help them do that.
And that's why I'm offering a certification program in Compassionate Mediation®.
I wrote the book, Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to your Marriage or Compassion to your Divorce. And I've created a six-hour online video program that follows the book.
Go to CompassionateMediationProgram.com, to learn more about the six- hour video series that can help an individual or a couple to either add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce. It follows the book and it's available now.
If you are a professional who helps individuals and couples then my certification process is for you. And what that is, it's going to be a three-level process. The first one starts this soon, and it's going to be eight weeks, two hours a week, where I give you every detail of the process that I created.
Compassionate Mediation is a process to help you
become an expert in conflict resolution
foster compassionate communication
help an individual and couples create a relationship that they truly desire and deserve.
As you increase your expertise, income and impact.
And how do you do that?
The Certification is an “A to Z” training on everything you need to know. It helps you
do an initial interview to get all the information you need to understand the dynamics, the family dynamics, the family of origin dynamics, how they relate now, what parts they get triggered with each other, and how to help them get to their highest and best self.
help your clients create a compassionate relationship — no matter what decisions they make in the future
share the Miracle of Empathy — so they can calmly, courageously and confidently talk about everything.
foster helpful, healing and transformative options for them to consider
provide legal and financial information and support
Thereare many couples that come to my office and either one or both is ready to leave the union.
When they start talking about the issues that have divided them ‑ Instead of being reactive, and angry, and yelling, and withholding, instead of doing that — they learn what it means to come from their highest and best SELR.
Being “in SELF” means they're calm, compassionate, creative, curious, connected, clear, confident, all the C words of the Internal Family Systems, IFS therapy that I practice.
They connect to their best self, they let go of the limiting beliefs and judgments that they have about their partner for themselves. The let go of burdens from the past, with all the backlog of feelings that they can let go of and they learn how to relate from their hearts.
Just imagine, imagine a couple or an individual who right now is sitting in quarantine, wondering what's going to happen when they get out.
You can reach them online or in person, but online as well, and teach them these skills because I'll teach them to you.
I'll give you the handouts, the templates, the scripts, the meditations.
You’ll have all of the information you need to help them get to their best self and create a compassionate relationship.
You will help them explore all their options — because many people don't know they have options. They think they have to stay in a situation that isn't meeting their needs, or they think they have to leave. And when they think they have leave, they're not ready so they stay stuck. But you can help them with all kinds of options.
And the options can be
going for counseling, individually or together
creating more time together
planning a separation or
planning a separation within the house
or just going to their own corners and giving each other a break.
There are many options, including what to know if they were going to separate or what to know if they were going to get divorced.
And that's all the information that I give you to give them.
If you're a therapist, you don't have to lose your clients to mediators or attorneys. You'll have the information to give them, to talk about every issue they need to talk about. If they're going to talk about property division or maintenance or child support, you learn from me how to have these conversations.
And then you help them process all those feelings that come up from the conversations they'll have. And that can go on for weeks and months and sometimes even years. And you're there supporting them the whole time.
If you're a coach, perhaps you don't know how to get new clients. But if you learn how to become certified in Compassionate Mediation, you'll have your own expertise and you'll be able to reach out to attorneys and financial planners and therapists and clergy, and let them know that you can coach people in this process.
You will help your clients facilitate either a new and better relationship or a peaceful and respectful separation and divorce. And again, you're coaching them, you're advising them with all of the information, all of the data that I give here.
If you're a mediator, you’ll have an expanded toolbox. I'm a mediator, a therapist, and an attorney. And in mediation, typical mediation, you often see the couple act out their reactivity in your office. Compassionate Mediation gives you a whole new skillset so that you can work with the couple and really help them heal.
And I have to tell you, there are many times when one or both parties have come to my office, seeking mediation, seeking to get a divorce. And in the course of learning how to come from their highest and best self, and relate with compassion and empathy, they start to talk about their issues in ways that they hadn't for years.
And they actually get to a place of understanding, compassion and forgiveness and that's when miracles happen. Then they create a new relationship together, so that's possible. And with Compassionate Mediation, you're given the skills to offer that besides just a one way route to divorce.
If you're an attorney, how many times have you been in a room with your clients, where over and over again, what you find is that they are fighting and you are being a therapist. Or you get late night calls because you're dealing with their emotional reactivity.
Compassionate Mediation gives you a skillset and a vernacular and a network of people with whom to collaborate and refer You're no longer the therapist without a skillset on helping them both have compassion for what they're feeling, compassion for what their partner's feeling, and a way to hear you and go through the process. It's much calmer and much clearer and much more connected and confident than they might've been without this process.
And if you're clergy, what you can do is you can bring spirituality back to a party. Compassionate Mediation can lead to a new marriage, which is a healing opportunity. If your conversations lead to a separation or divorce, you have the opportunity to create with a couple, a spiritual transformation that allows them to remain friends and create a restructured family ‑ where they have respect and kindness — and their children, if they have children, feel safe. And you can do that with the skills in Compassionate Mediation. I'd love for you to check out the certification program and book a time to chat with me.
I think those of us who are in healing professions owe it to the individuals and couples and families that we help to step up and do what we can do to foster better communication.
I'm inviting you to join me for my Compassionate Mediation training group, where I'm going to share my 35 years of experience as an IFS therapist, a mediator, and attorney and Chopra-certified teacher of meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda.
I want to give you the benefit of all I've learned so that you can help your clients communicate with more empathy, more compassion, and more love.
Join me, and we can create a community of like-minded, like-hearted individuals, professionals sharing our expertise in order to make a better world.
You can find me and my resources at lindakroll.com, where I'd love to offer you the benefit of all that I've studied, all that I've learned, and all that I want to share.
No matter what has happened in your life or relationships,
You already have everything you need to come home to your SELF.
Hi, and welcome. I am so happy you are here.
After all that has challenged us in the last year, I want to take a few minutes to help you access your highest and best Self.
Your SELF and Your “Parts”
I believe we all have a healthy SELF. When we are in SELF we are calm, clear, compassionate. Do you know those moments?
They are usually just moments. We are not always “in SELF.” We are often blended with our PARTS.
Think of your PARTS as the different voices you hear in your head.
Sometimes a Part of you wants to make one choice and you have another voice with a different thought or feeling about it.
There are three categories of PARTS
EXILES
MANAGERS
EXTREME
The EXILES are the parts we learned in childhood weren’t going to get our needs met. If we felt sad, scared, hurt, vulnerable–we didn’t want to feel that way, so we pushed those feelings aside. Some of us exiled our anger too, because it wasn’t safe to express it.
The Exiles often wonder, “What about me? Who is going to love and care for me the way I need?”
We often store the energy of the EXILE’S pain somewhere in our bodies. We don’t want to feel the emotional burdens of the EXILES, so we figure out ways to MANAGE.
We go into our heads, and with the help of our Egos, we create the PARTS of us we show the world. We can learn to be nice, pleasing, caretaking.
We can become hardworking, judgmental, blaming. Some of us manage our exiled pain and sadness by becoming angry.Many of us put on what I call a “pseudo-self” when we try to look like we’re “in SELF,” but those EXILED feelings of sadness, fear, or anger are still very present and churning.
When the energy of those EXILES threatens to upset our internal system, and our MANAGERS can no longer contain them and protect us, we have EXTREME parts that activate to numb using some way.
We choose behaviors that take the focus off our EXILE’s pain and give us moments of escape. Some people get addicted to some of those behaviors –with alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, staying busy, staying in bed, putting up internal walls, getting enraged.
When the EXTREME parts take over, we continue to ignore those EXILED parts and just focus on the EXTREME behaviors –and then the guilt and shame we have because of that behavior –but we effectively continue to ignore the feelings of our Inner Child.
There are ways to unburden that original pain. The first step in letting it go is to acknowledge that it is there. No running away or avoidance or pushing it aside.
You offer loving Compassionate Communication from your Highest SELF to those hurting parts that need and want YOUR attention.You may not have received that attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance as a child, but you can now.
Your parents or caregivers did the best they knew how to do, considering their upbringings and their level of awareness at the time.
Now you can do better.
You can give yourself the compassion, love, attention, and validation you have always wanted.
You can forgive yourself for all choices –the ones you made and the ones you avoided.
You can accept yourself for who you are now –knowing that you are doing the best you know how to do, and you can grow more from self-love and self-care than you can from self-doubt and criticism.
You can begin to COMMUNICATE more COMPASSIONATELY with yourself in every thought you think.
And you can accept and love all of your Parts,which are ALL trying to protect you in some way. They are locked in jobs they have been doing all your life.
Once you give your PARTS all the attention they need to unburden the pain from the past, they carry their own wisdom and light.
You can start to speak FOR your PARTS,rather than FROM your parts.You can rescue your Inner Child from any painful or traumatic event and remind him or her that you survived and how far you have come from that experience.
You can tap into your connection to your faith, your soul, your spirit,and remember there is an infinite source of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion and forgiveness available to you by just remembering it’s there.
When you OPEN yourself to RECEIVE that Spiritual connection of love, faith and your divine essence, you just shine that light on your Internal System of PARTS, and shower yourself with love.
As you become more compassionate and loving towards all parts of yourself, you will have more compassion and love to share with the people closest to you –and with the world.
When your Parts feel YOUR attention, affection,appreciation and acceptance, they are free to evolve.
Your Inner Critic can change to a loving Inner Coach.
Your Rage can turn into your Boundary Monitor, helping you learn how to say “no” when “no” is what you prefer, and how to leave situations that aren’t in your highest good.
Your Protective Parts can shift and change and calm and connect.
There doesn’t have to be an internal polarity because they all have a seat at the table, but YOU, coming from your Highest Self, connected to your Divine Spirit –YOU are in charge.
Over time, your Parts learn to trust You in SELF, and you feel more calm, clear, compassionate, curious, creative, connected, grateful, peaceful, joyful, and loving.
Here are some ways to get to SELF:
Roads Lead to Self: How to Attain Inner Guidance
Angels
Art
Ask for it
Body Scan
Breathe
Channeling
Children
Collage Making
Coloring
Connecting
Dance
Deep Breathing
Drawing
Dreams
Flowers
Focusing
Guided Imagery
Intuition
Journaling
Knowing Place
Labyrinth
Letting Go
Listening
Loving
Mandala
Mantra
Meditation
Miracles
Movement
Music
Nature
Nia
Painting
Parts -‐sending love
Pause
Pets
Prayer
Private Place
Running
Silence
Singing
Sleeping
Slowing Down
Solitude
Space
Sports
Stars
Surrender
Sweat Lodge
Synchronicity
Swimming
Tai Chi
Talking
Qigong
Quiet Mind and Body
Walking
Workshops
Writing
Yoga
MEDITATION
When you learn to meditate, you practice being in the silence that exists between your thoughts.
It allows you to access your true SELF, divine SELF, or spirit, and begin to make choices that align with your true purpose and joy.
You stop the attention you give to your “monkey mind”and habitual thoughts.
You learn how to be here now, love what is, and be the calm in the middle of the storm.
You learn how to look at life from a higher state of consciousness, where you are no longer reacting from a fight/flight or freeze state.
You learn how be less reactive, more responsive, intuitive and creative.
You learn that you can’t solve a problem from the level of awareness that created the problem.
You have to look at a situation from SELF, understanding your parts and others’ parts.
You can have compassion for all of them, and then make your decisions from the highest and best part of yourself, knowing in your soul that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.
And we are all doing the best we know how to do.
Meditation allows us to have more direct access to SELF.
The more we meditate, the more SELF we can experience and share.
When there is a critical mass of SELF-present, no matter where it comes from or who is showing it, the situation can shift and become more calm and connected immediately.
If you are talking to a spouse, a child, a parent, a loved one,a co-worker, a friend, being in SELF fosters Compassionate Communication.
Being in SELF: Understand Your Parts
Meditate
Take a Breath
You can get to SELF by unburdening your parts, by practicing meditation, and by taking one breath to get to that stillness within.
TAKE ONE BREATH
For just a moment, I’d like you to notice your body. Just focus inward and scan your body from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, and just notice. Notice any tension or tightness, now notice what you are feeling or thinking. Just notice.
There may be some tightness in your jaw, shoulders, neck, stomach. You may feel some tension in your head, hands, chest. Just notice.
Now please take a breath. One conscious breath.Inhale, hold, exhale, hold. Once more. One deep breath. Inhale, hold, exhale, release.
For a few seconds you got present, tuned into your body, stopped thinking about any problem, and allowed yourself to just be here now.
You can get to SELF by:
Unburden Your Parts
Meditate
Take a Conscious Breath
Gratitude
GRATITUDE
One other way to get to SELF is to be GRATEFUL. When you are aware of your blessings, no matter what the external situation seems to be, you can come back to that awareness of all the miracles that are currently available,and compassionately communicate with yourself and the world.
One moment at a time, one person at a time, we can become the change we hope to see.
When you believe in your SELF — and stay in constant contact through understanding and loving your Parts — meditate, breathe, and be grateful, life becomes more peaceful, loving and filled with joy.
The SELF in me recognizes and cherishes the beautiful and Divine SELF that is YOU!
Namaste.
Sending you much love,
Linda
How to Love Your SELF
1. Think of all the things you've always wanted to do if you had time. Do one -or don't.
2. Get in bed and vegetate. Don't be afraid you'll never get out again. You will
3. Rent movies.
4. Read -a magazine, poetry, a good book, anything.
5. Get a manicure, pedicure, massage -or give yourself one
.6. Plan a trip, a spa-day, a bus ride, a day off, a lunch date. (Call a travel agent to consider a vacation).
7. Give yourself permission NOT TO: bake, cook, clean, shop, or do laundry, dishes, or ironing.
8. Get used to the novelty of deciding what you want to do –and doing some of it.
9. Let go of expectations of yourself and others.
10. Change your paradigm.
11. Set aside some time to be sad, if you want to.
12.Cry.
13.Call a friend or family member.
14.Write a letter, note, poem, short story, your novel.
15.Learn to understand yourself.
16. Join Al Anon or AA.
17. Go to extra meetings.
18. Buy a present for yourself.
19. Make something special to eat — just for you.
20. Get in bed and eat chocolate.
21.Find a new hobby.
22.Play the piano.
23. Paint, color.
24. Think about classes you may want to take and look through catalogues.
25. Entertain.
26. If you do entertain, make it as easy on yourself as possible — paper plates, pot luck.
27. Exercise (walk, yoga, pilates, bike, swim, lift weights, dance!)
28. Breathe deeply, often.
29. Meditate.
30. Hire a babysitter and go out — or stay home.
31. Ask the kids to tuck you in.
32. Take your pet for a walk.
33. Go to a park and swing –or slide!
34. Take a bath.
35. Volunteer.
36.Say “no” when you don't want to do something.
37.Journal.
38.Give yourself permission to do what you want, when you want, with whom you want.
39Connect with your Inner Child. Give him or her a hug.
40.Listen to his/her feelings to help heal. Empower him/her to have fun and to feel safe, calm, and happy.
Linda Kroll LCPC,JD Therapist, Mediator, Attorney
As a therapist, mediator and attorney, I have shared Compassionate Communication with thousands of men and women for over 20 years.
I have had the privilege of learning from Dr, Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems and became a Certified IFS Practitioner. I later completed five years of study with Deepak Chopra, David Simon, davidji, and the other wonderful instructors at the Chopra Center University to become a Vedic Master, a teacher of meditation, yoga and perfect health.
I have been mentored by SARK, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, who adds fun and play with all that she joyfully creates.
I am a Level Two Reiki Master, grateful lifelong learner, who has had the benefit of many wise teachers and guides.
Today, I am grateful to work with hundreds of women and men as they learn to treat themselves with more kindness and respect so they have more to share with others.
As I have become more SELF-led, I am calmer, clearer and more compassionate with myself and others.
I began to heal from the experiences of my past and understand and accept all parts of myself.
I feel more inner peace and happiness and would love to help you feel the same.
My hope is that you take care of your SELF so that you can communicate with honesty and empathy.
As your relationship with your SELF improves, you will feel more peace, love and joy in all your relationships.
