The first thing I want to do is read you a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh.
He said, “To reconcile conflicting parties, we must have the ability to understand the suffering of both sides. If we take sides, it is impossible to do the work of reconciliation, and humans want to take sides. That is why the situation gets worse and worse.
Are there people who are still available to both sides? They need notdo much.
They need only do one thing, go to one side and tell all about the suffering endured by the other side and go to the other side until all about the suffering endured by this side.
That is our chance for peace. That can change the situation.”
And that is what we do with Compassionate Mediation.
We're trying to do is give each party – or if you're working with an individual, give the individual – a chance to come from their highest self, let go of their limiting beliefs, unburden pain from the past and relate from their hearts.
And then when they relate from their heart, they can talk about their
feelings that they've exiled – the hurt, the sadness, the fear – and their partner can listen to that.
Their partner can't listen to the judgments, the “you” messages. You always do this, you never do that.
And a lot of people are getting into some very bad habits of communicating. Maybe they're fighting more, maybe they're distancing more. Maybe they're doing the dance of fighting and distancing.
But now more than ever, the skill of Compassionate Mediation can be something that you can use with your current clients or future clients to teach them a new way to communicate.
Compassionate Mediation starts with compassionate communication.
And the good part about it is you're trained in therapy or coaching or helping them process their feelings.
You're also going be able to talk about the content.
If you're talking about a property division, how to talk about the property aspect or how to talk about child support or how to talk about maintenance, if there's going to be any.
You will help them through all the feelings that come up around these subjects.
And far too often we'll be counseling someone and they'll decide they're thinking of a divorce and they want to go to a mediator.
Or they want to hire an attorney.
I mentioned to anyone thinking of the divorce that mediation is always the best way to go, whether it's Compassionate Mediation or any other mediation because it gives them a chance to speak with each other.
But in compassionate mediation, we're teaching them away to be more self-led to compassionately communicate, to learn how to empathize, and then to talk about all the different options they have.
Another thing we're doing in Compassionate Mediation is we're talking them “off the ledge.”
And if you know what I mean, it's when an individual or couple comes into your office and they think they have to act now, they think they have to jump, they've reached the end of their rope,
They're so tired of the same old, same old that they need to make a decision and they need to make it fast.
Deep breath here.
The important thing is not what they decide, but are they deciding from their highest and best self
Because if they're not, they're just reacting. They're reacting to their own parts, they're reacting to their partner's part.
But when it happens in marriage counseling, many people don't bring it up because they think that if they're in marriage counseling, all they're there for is to make the marriage better.
And unfortunately, one or both of them may have already been considering, “What would it be like to separate, What would it be like to find somebody new? What would it be like to get out of this union?”
But because they're exiling that part of themselves, they're only showing up with a part that's trying to be invested in counseling, but they're not fully invested in counseling because they're not talking about the part that's thought about leaving.
We use Compassionate Mediation to make it safe for all parts to come in and feel welcome: The parts that are scared, the parts that are worried, the parts that are angry, the parts that feel betrayed, and the parts that think I might want to end this, what would that look like.
And that's why in one of the modules in the training, I talk about how you talk to the initiator and how you talk to the non initiator.
The initiator is the party in the couple, the one member of the couple that really would like to separate or divorce, and I tell that person that if they don't process some of the feelings that led to their desire to leave, their partner is not going to be part of this process. Their partner is going to pull out.
So then they'd be left with having to hire an attorney and file for divorce.
Their partner would have to file a response, and a year or two later, thousands of dollars later, maybe they'll get divorced.
So I tell the initiator, take the time to learn how to communicate to process the feelings that got you here.
And I tell the non-initiator, the person that doesn't want to think about a divorce, doesn't want to think about a separation may be totally obsessed with staying together – that if they don't open their minds to consider the possibility of leaving, the partner that wants to separate or divorce isn't going to stay in this process because it's going to feel too much like marriage counseling.
So they have to meet in the middle where the person who wants out talks about feelings. The person that wants to stay talks about what would it look like if I left
And you hold the space for that whole conversation and whatever topic they bring up, if they bring up money and how money is divided between the two of them, that's a subject that could go on for weeks or months.
Because when you talk about money, you have to talk about all the parts that are triggered about that conversation.
You can talk about the legacy burdens that each of them brought nto the relationship about the roles and responsibilities. You can talk about their limiting beliefs or the way they've managed, or the parts they've exiled.
And at the same time you will know enough to give them feedback about how to talk about money.
So if you're talking about property division, you list their assets and then you list their debts.
And that process can take weeks because most of all they don't have that information readily.
Sometimes it could just take a session for one party to feel as educated as the other party is, but you will have this skill set
If you are a Therapist, Mediator, Attorney, Coach, or Counselor who wants to help heal and transform relationships, please join me.
Compassionate Mediation®
combines emotional and spiritual healing along with with legal and financial information and support.
Together we can transform the face of divorce — one heart at a time.
Compassionate Mediation® Training:
Introducing Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation® fosters peaceful and respectful dialogue when there is conflict. It provides a safe forum for healing and personal growth — as well as financial and legal information and guidance. Individuals and couples can then create a new and better future — together or apart.
Peaceful Conflict Resolution
You’ll teach your clients a method of compassionate communication that allows for healing and mutual respect. With awareness, understanding, and willingness to listen, each party feels heard, understood, and more connected. You also learn techniques to offer that encourage exquisite SELF care.
Powerful and Healing Initial Interview
Using a unique template, you'll learn a new technique for an initial interview that helps you understand each individual and the dynamics of the relationship. You will facilitate constructive dialogue that fosters transformation. In a matter of minutes you can help your clients communicate with more respect.
Positive Relationship Transformation
This process of SELF-led empathetic communication helps heal a family for the highest good of all concerned. You educate your clients as they explore their options, collect necessary information, and learn their rights and responsibilities. You will feel confident in your ability to be of service.
Heal More Relationships
You will learn how to support your clients as they decide whether to continue with Compassionate Mediation®, agree to co-create a more Compassionate Relationship, or elect to pursue a Compassionate SELF-Led Divorce®.
Expand Your Expertise
You can be part of an evolutionary process that will inspire your clients to heal and transform their relationships from their highest and best SELF. They will explore their options, get clear on their rights and finances, and take inspired action for their future.
Earn More CEU's*
Compassionate Mediation® Training is an NBCC-Approved Continuing Education Course for therapists who will receive NBCC-approved clock hours.*Coaches and Attorneys, Continuing Education Credits will be available in the near future.
Learn Linda's Process
Linda is a therapist, mediator, attorney, author, and Chopra Certified Master Teacher of meditation, yoga and Ayurveda, Linda founded of Compassionate Communication Academy to share all that she has learned with you for your expansion and success.
With gratitude to Richard Schwartz, PhD, Founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) — Selfleadership.org
“Divorce brings out the worst in us and often leaves lasting scars…
Linda Kroll is a master at lifting couples out of their narrow protective perspectives. They then learn the larger lessons from their relationships and proceed based on the best interests of all involved… This is relationship healing at its best.”
Client Success Stories:
“I've experienced significant improvements in all my relationships.” “I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce.” “We’re building an entirely new marriage.” “Linda guided us mindfully through the impact of divorce.” “I came to Linda seeking mediation and came out with peace and hope.” “I am breaking free from destructive patterns.” “Linda helped me love all ‘Parts’ of my SELF!” “With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”
“We’re building an entirely new marriage.” “I resisted leaving for years with two young kids and limited finances, the idea of leaving felt almost as bad as staying. By the end of our first session, we were able to strip away some of the old resentments and junk to have a glimpse of the person we fell in love with all those years ago. After a few short months, we are no longer thinking of ending our marriage. Linda is helping us build an entirely new marriage. She is a Godsend and is helping me to love myself, love my husband, and love my life. What a treasure.”
“I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce.”“I imagine that working with me and my spouse was quite challenging as we both brought a lot with us while dealing with intense life issues. Once the difficult decisions were further along, there was space to let concepts into my mind and heart of empathy and compassion. Linda always seemed to maintain an ability to stay above the fray, and she taught me how to come from my Highest Self. I feel that I understood the meaning of Highest Self immediately, yet before being introduced to that concept by Linda, I don’t think I operated from that place often enough. I am now am working toward living my best life, from my Highest Self, looking for good things for myself, my newly structured family, and for the greater good in my business and personal life. My former wife and my daughter and I have all traveled together with friendship and harmony.”
“I am breaking free from destructive patterns.” “In just one session with Linda, I gained insight into a stumbling block in my relationship that I thought was impassable. Her clarity and intelligence cut through my defenses allowing me to see the ways in which I was sabotaging myself. She is a serious and effective therapist who gave me the courage to face my painful past and the tools to break free from destructive patterns. I am very grateful for her presence in my life and awed by her extraordinary skill.”
“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.” “When I was first referred to Linda, I felt sad, scared, alone and extremely confused. With Linda’s caring guidance, I learned ways to cope with what was happening with my life and how to move forward with peace and strength. She showed me options I didn’t know existed. This helped me feel more in control of my actions and decisions and allowed me to be a strong role model for my children. Life is so much better. I now face each day with excitement, strength, and peace.”
If you are a Therapist, Mediator, Attorney, Coach, or Counselor who wants to help heal and transform relationships, please join me.
Compassionate Mediation®
combines emotional and spiritual healing along with with legal and financial information and support.
Together we can transform the face of divorce — one heart at a time.
Compassionate Mediation® Training:
Introducing Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation® fosters peaceful and respectful dialogue when there is conflict. It provides a safe forum for healing and personal growth — as well as financial and legal information and guidance. Individuals and couples can then create a new and better future — together or apart.
Peaceful Conflict Resolution
You’ll teach your clients a method of compassionate communication that allows for healing and mutual respect. With awareness, understanding, and willingness to listen, each party feels heard, understood, and more connected. You also learn techniques to offer that encourage exquisite SELF care.
Powerful and Healing Initial Interview
Using a unique template, you'll learn a new technique for an initial interview that helps you understand each individual and the dynamics of the relationship. You will facilitate constructive dialogue that fosters transformation. In a matter of minutes you can help your clients communicate with more respect.
Positive Relationship Transformation
This process of SELF-led empathetic communication helps heal a family for the highest good of all concerned. You educate your clients as they explore their options, collect necessary information, and learn their rights and responsibilities. You will feel confident in your ability to be of service.
Heal More Relationships
You will learn how to support your clients as they decide whether to continue with Compassionate Mediation®, agree to co-create a more Compassionate Relationship, or elect to pursue a Compassionate SELF-Led Divorce®.
Expand Your Expertise
You can be part of an evolutionary process that will inspire your clients to heal and transform their relationships from their highest and best SELF. They will explore their options, get clear on their rights and finances, and take inspired action for their future.
Earn More CEU's*
Compassionate Mediation® Training is an NBCC-Approved Continuing Education Course for therapists who will receive NBCC-approved clock hours.*Coaches and Attorneys, Continuing Education Credits will be available in the near future.
Learn Linda's Process
Linda is a therapist, mediator, attorney, author, and Chopra Certified Master Teacher of meditation, yoga and Ayurveda, Linda founded of Compassionate Communication Academy to share all that she has learned with you for your expansion and success.
With gratitude to Richard Schwartz, PhD, Founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) — Selfleadership.org
“Divorce brings out the worst in us and often leaves lasting scars…
Linda Kroll is a master at lifting couples out of their narrow protective perspectives. They then learn the larger lessons from their relationships and proceed based on the best interests of all involved… This is relationship healing at its best.”
Client Success Stories:
“I've experienced significant improvements in all my relationships.” “I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce.” “We’re building an entirely new marriage.” “Linda guided us mindfully through the impact of divorce.” “I came to Linda seeking mediation and came out with peace and hope.” “I am breaking free from destructive patterns.” “Linda helped me love all ‘Parts’ of my SELF!” “With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”
“We’re building an entirely new marriage.” “I resisted leaving for years with two young kids and limited finances, the idea of leaving felt almost as bad as staying. By the end of our first session, we were able to strip away some of the old resentments and junk to have a glimpse of the person we fell in love with all those years ago. After a few short months, we are no longer thinking of ending our marriage. Linda is helping us build an entirely new marriage. She is a Godsend and is helping me to love myself, love my husband, and love my life. What a treasure.”
“I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce.”“I imagine that working with me and my spouse was quite challenging as we both brought a lot with us while dealing with intense life issues. Once the difficult decisions were further along, there was space to let concepts into my mind and heart of empathy and compassion. Linda always seemed to maintain an ability to stay above the fray, and she taught me how to come from my Highest Self. I feel that I understood the meaning of Highest Self immediately, yet before being introduced to that concept by Linda, I don’t think I operated from that place often enough. I am now am working toward living my best life, from my Highest Self, looking for good things for myself, my newly structured family, and for the greater good in my business and personal life. My former wife and my daughter and I have all traveled together with friendship and harmony.”
“I am breaking free from destructive patterns.” “In just one session with Linda, I gained insight into a stumbling block in my relationship that I thought was impassable. Her clarity and intelligence cut through my defenses allowing me to see the ways in which I was sabotaging myself. She is a serious and effective therapist who gave me the courage to face my painful past and the tools to break free from destructive patterns. I am very grateful for her presence in my life and awed by her extraordinary skill.”
“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.” “When I was first referred to Linda, I felt sad, scared, alone and extremely confused. With Linda’s caring guidance, I learned ways to cope with what was happening with my life and how to move forward with peace and strength. She showed me options I didn’t know existed. This helped me feel more in control of my actions and decisions and allowed me to be a strong role model for my children. Life is so much better. I now face each day with excitement, strength, and peace.”
And in the meantime, I'd like to offer you a special invitation for a 15 minute call with me. This is going to be a free call, and it's going to give you an opportunity to get one actionable piece of advice from me to help you in your practice.
My name is Linda Kroll. I wrote the book, Compassionate Mediation®: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
For over 35 years, I've helped thousands of individuals and couples communicate compassionately. I've also spent time training other therapists, coaches, mediators, attorneys, clergy in how to use Compassionate Mediation in your practice.
But this free call is just about you.
It's to start where you are and to let me help you in any way I can.
So here's the deal. ‘
It is a free call and what I mean free,I mean, there's going to be nothing for sale.
And the reason I do this is twofold.
Number one, I had a terrible divorce and I made it my life's mission to help people learn a better way to do it.
But Compassionate Mediation also gives people a new way to communicate and to create a new relationship.
So the more people that know about compassionate mediation, the more individuals, couples, and families will be healed.
So, number one, that's my number one passion -to share this information with as many as I can.
Number two, I've often found that when people meet me and get some help from me that they may want to work with me in the future.
Now, again, I said, there's nothing for sale on this call and there won't be.
But I have found that some of my colleagues have decided a week later, six months later, a year later that they'd like to learn more from me.
And if that's the case, we'd set up another call, but there's nothing for sale on this call.
So please take advantage of this offer.
It is a very limited opportunity.
And what I mean by that is I only open it up every so often.
And as soon as those slots are filled, they're filled.
And it's not for everyone.
So here's the criteria for getting this free call with me.
Number one, you have to be a therapist or coach or helping professional who is interested in personal professional and spiritual growth.
Number two, you have to have some kind of momentum going. And what that means is you have to be in motion. You have to have clients or people that you're currently serving so that I know that when I help you, you'll immediately be able to help others.
And number three, it's got to be a “now issue” for you. In other words, how can I help you now?
Not six months from now or a year from now, what piece of question do you have that I can answer. Or how can I help guide you along the path in our 15 minute time together
So if you meet those criteria, please go to the bottom of the page and click on the link.
You'll be sent to a brief questionnaire that will help me get a little more information about you to get ready for our call.
And then you'll be sent to my booking schedule. And hopefully there will still be times available for you and we can meet soon,
Again, I have so much I'd like to share with you, but first I'd like to give you one actionable piece of information that can take you from where you are to wherever you want to be next.
