I want to share with you a 17-minute video with Dr. Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems therapy – my mentor, teacher and friend,

Everything I have done professionally and personally for the last 35 years has been profoundly influenced by his model, his teachings, and his generous sharing of SELF and Parts.

We all have a “multiplicity” of Parts. When we are “in SELF,” we can separate from our Parts, compassionately witness their intention to be helpful, accept them and honor their intention, and help them unburden pain and trauma from the past.

Separate, Observe, Accept. 

A recipe for internal peace and interpersonal relationships. When you observe “in SELF,” with mindful, witnessing awareness, you access those “C” qualities inside you and become more compassionate and caring. You become more understanding and helpful – and no longer reactive or judgmental.

My version of Compassionate Communication is to 

  1. Connect to your best SELF
  2. Let go of limiting beliefs (by compassionately attending to and understanding your Parts)
  3. Unburden pain from the past 
  4. Relate from your heart (SELF, Higher Self, Best SELF)

In Compassionate Mediation®, a process to help individuals and couples resolve conflict peacefully and respectfully, the process is:

  1. Learn Compassionate Communication (see above)
  2. Create a Compassionate Relationship
  3. Explore All Your Options
  4. Understand Your Rights and Finances
  5. Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve

I want to share Dick’s message to help foster as much healing and SELF energy as possible. The more SELF energy we bring to our relationships, families and communities, the more peace there will be in this world

Thanks so much, Dick, for all that you have shared, and this worldwide phenomenon of IFS.

In this video, he describes:

  • Parts (1-3 minutes) – little personalities inside – our thoughts, feelings, beliefs
  • Self  (4-7 minutes)  – The Calm, Compassionate, Confident, Curious, Courageous, Clear, Connected, Creative
  • Healing  (7-8 minutes)  – release of extreme beliefs and emotions and restoring the Parts trust in the leadership of the SELF
  • Unburdening – Parts need to feel the presence and understanding  of the SELF. You become a Compassionate Witness to your own history.  When your Part feels understood, it can unburden. You can go into the scene with your Part and help it heal and transform.
  • Origin of the name “Internal Family Systems” 
  • How does IFS differ from other therapies?

Consider the “personhood” of your own Parts. Give your “internal enemies” compassion – your Parts are doing their best to protect you. 

  • Core tenet of IFS.

“We aren’t who we think we are,” says Dick. Enlightenment is a shift in your center of inner gravity to know that this SELF is who you truly are.

In addition to knowing WHO you are, the SELF can create harmony internally and externally.

It’s often said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

I feel that when we are “in SELF,” we are living from a more conscious, mindful, compassionate presence. I believe it’s the God inside. 

My life mission is to help people become more SELF-led and to bring that divine essence into all our relationships.

My profound gratitude to Dick and all my IFS colleagues for your enduring influence in my personal and professional life.

And always remember, as Dick says, “SELF heals!”

My book on Compassionate Mediation®:How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce offers my version of SELF and Parts in my introduction and first chapter.

You can get this information for FREE in at www.LindaKrollBook.com

"I’ve experienced significant improvements in my relationship with my husband and children."


"I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce."


“We’re building an entirely new marriage.”


“Linda guided us mindfully through the impact of divorce."


“I came to Linda seeking mediated divorce documents and came out with nothing but peace and hope."


“I am breaking free from destructive patterns.”


“Linda helped me love all ‘Parts’ of my SELF!”


“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”


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