How to Divorce with Compassion by Linda Kroll
Compassionate Communication Creates New Beginnings when You're Thinking of Divorce.
The night before I was to be in court to finalize my divorce after a very long separation, I was moved to convert my sadness, hurt and anger into hope for a new beginning. If your marriage has difficulties, or you're thinking of divorce, I want to share with you how I did that for myself.
I wrote a prayer.
When I arrived at the courtroom, I gave a copy to my formerly beloved (and soon to be ex) husband and to his attorney. I hoped to end our marriage in a way that would set the tone for a peaceful and respectful co-creation of our future restructured family.
I wanted us to always be able to Compassionately Communicate –to connect our highest and best SELF, let go of all the limiting (and judgmental) beliefs we held, unburdened pain from the past, and relate from our hearts.
I hoped we could protect our children from the shrapnel of any more animosity or conflict.
I offered it as my prayer, and for some, it can be an intention. It was my heartfelt request for a future of respectful co-parenting, genuine friendship and Compassionate Communication.
I hope others can set the same intention or recite the same prayer.
“Love is the answer – and it starts with loving your SELF.”
Linda’s Settlement Prayer
I pray for a peaceful and respectful settlement meeting, in which all parties come together from their Highest Selves and their truest connection to Your guidance, wisdom and love.
I pray that the parts of ourselves that are angry, fearful, defensive, revengeful, retributive, punitive, unloving, unforgiving, sad, young, abandoned, resentful, negative, hurting and hurtful – that all these parts be quelled with the leadership of the Self, coming from a place of trust in Your presence and light.
I pray for compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Although our marriage has come down to a business closing of money and asset division, I ask that we remember the love that brought us together, and the wonderful children, which our union has borne. For their sakes as well as our own, we wish to put an end to this process in as respectful and loving a way as possible.
Although we each carry our sadness and pain and mutual regrets, I pray that we can look beyond this difficult period to a time when we can be friends and coexist peacefully. I pray that our once intact family can be rearranged to two intact and loving homes, where our children feel connected and comfortable. I pray that we can hold in a different light the love that once joined us forever; that on the deepest level we wish each other well as we let go and let G-d direct our lives.
For the sake of all we once had, and for all we had planned to share together, let us now finalize the terms of our marital dissolution so that we are both free to get on with our lives.
Let us complete this last painful task with a sense of trust in the love we once shared and hopefully can remember after this part is over.
Let us not work from purely simple and self-serving motives, but keep in mind the general welfare of each of us, and our children.
Let us request our attorneys to contribute what is needed for the mutual benefit of all concerned.
In the end, let us know that we behaved civilly, that we can look back with a clear conscience, and that as much as we could, we came from our hearts. God bless us and direct us all. Amen.
His lawyer looked it over, and jokingly asked him, “Are there any changes you want to make in this document?”
We all laughed —sometimes through our tears – which is kind of like life.
Even in the heartache, there can come healing and hope.
If you or someone you know is looking at a separation or divorce, please remember that together we can change the face of divorce, one heart at a time.
If you want to improve your relationship, get a FREE Relationship Assessment HERE.
To learn how to offer this process to your clients, please get the FREE ROADMAP and Video Introduction to Compassionate Mediation®
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and author, I help others avoid the pain that my family suffered. My transformational processes of Compassionate Mediation® and SELF-Led Divorce® bring peaceful resolution instead of heartbreak.
If your relationship is at a crossroad, you ‘can add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce with Compassionate Communication and Compassionate Mediation®. Please visit www.LindaKroll.com for your free chapter of my bestselling book, and for more free gifts and resources to help you add more peace, love and joy to your life – starting now.
You can also take my Relationship Assessment and learn how to make things better!
If you’re a heart-centered professional (therapist, mediator, attorney, coach or counselor,) you can learn how to offer these processes to your clients at www.CompassionateMediationTraining.com.
Families need not be “broken,” but can be peacefully and respectfully “re-structured.”
For a copy of the Settlement Prayer or Settlement Intention, please visit my Settlement Intention blog post.
To learn more or get a free chapter of my book go to www.LindaKrollBook.com
To order the book on Amazon: Compassionate Mediation®: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce, please click here.
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