GRIEF and GRATITUDE
I concentrate on the latter to mitigate the former.
I realize I wouldn’t miss her so clearly if I didn’t love her so dearly.
I focus on the years we had instead of the future without her here.
I give thanks, through my tears, that we are always connected in our hearts.
I appreciate my blessings – my beloved family, friends, health, life, even as I nurse my broken heart.
I cry copiously, grateful that I can get my feelings out without needing to numb, distract, or deny.
I celebrate with family and friends who understand, offer support, and hug me tightly.
She was missing for my birthday – and for hers.
And now here comes Thanksgiving.
In my grief, I am so grateful for the light, the jove, the joy she was.
And I’m grateful for feeling her with me even as I miss her every moment.
Grief or Gratitude.
I can do both.
I need to do both.
I have everything she ever wrote to me, and all the voicemails of the recent past.
I am grateful for each one.
I am grateful for each moment we shared.
I am grateful for every memory I have.
I am grateful that for 41 years she was my daughter, and for the rest of my life she always will be.
And then we will celebrate all future holidays together at that Glorious, Well-Attended, Blessed Table in the Sky.