Compassionate Mediation® starts with Compassionate Communication
If you are having conflict in your relationship, Compassionate Mediation® will help.
You will learn how to connect to your highest and best SELF and resolve your issues with empathy and respect.
Compassionate Mediation® starts with Compassionate Communication.
To learn more, please join me in the Compassionate Communication Community on Facebook. www.Compassionate Communication.GROUP.
Compassionate Communication
Compassionate Communication allows you to connect to your highest and best SELF, let go of limiting beliefs and judgments, unburden pain from the past, and relate from your heart.
Connect to your best SELF
When we are “in SELF,” we're calm, clear, and compassionate.
We're usually not “in SELF.”
We're in our Parts, and the parts that we're in, we either EXILE some parts and push them aside and don't tell our partner that we're really sad and scared, and instead we try to MANAGE by being nice or pleasing or being stoic or being hardworking or pretending we're in self. Pretending everything is okay. But we're really feeling a lot of these hurt, sad, scared, maybe even angry feelings that we're not sharing.
So instead we do things to numb ourselves. We stay real busy. We exercise too much. We drink. We take drugs. We go have an affair. We get depressed. We get enraged. We do a lot of different things, but these are all human reactions to a very painful, scary condition.
When we're in self, then we are less reactive and can be more responsive.
Four Ways to Get to SELF
There are four ways to get to self. The first way is to just take a breath because all that anxiousness, all those voices, “Do I want to stay? Do I want to go? What do I want to do? How do I want to be? Can I put my wall down? Is it safe? How am I going to look at him or her through the filter?”
- We take a breath. We come to the present moment, and we're not regurgitating the past to what they did to us then, and we're not projecting that into the future as if it's going to be that way forever, but we're present. In that present moment, there's a lot more possibility.
- Speak for our parts not from our parts . The second way to get to SELF is to recognize that we have these Parts and we speak for them, but not from them. It's okay to say from your higher SELF, “There's a part of me that's angry because of something. There's a part of me that's scared when you do that. I'm feeling sad because.” When we're talking from SELF, it's a whole different dialogue.
- Let go of limiting beliefs . When you are compassionately communicating, you are relating from self. You're letting go of your limiting beliefs and judgments about the other person. You are unburdening the pain from the past, not carrying it with you and projecting it into the future.
- Relate from your heart . When you're in your higher SELF, it's safe to open your heart. It may mean you'll be setting more boundaries. It may mean that you choose to leave, but you can do it from your higher SELF.
When you bring your best SELF to your relationship, it will improve no matter what your partner does or doesn't do.
You will also know that you are not adding negativity to the situation.
Whatever the outcome of the conflict, you will feel better about your contribution.
Try it, you'll see. You will also inspire your partner to show up with less defensiveness and reactivity.
Together, you can create a SELF-led relationship that fosters more compassion and connection.
