In these difficult times, relationships are strained to their limits.
In the past 30 years, as a therapist, mediator attorney, I have created a process for helping individuals and couples to add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce.
It's called the Compassionate Mediation® Program.
I‘d like to give you the Roadmap so that you can use it with your clients now.
You can use it in person. You can use it online,
And you could offer healing and transformation when the world needs it the most.
Please get your FREE Roadmap and the Video short introduction, and we'll stay connected.
There are many more tools that I want to offer you.
From my heart to yours, please take advantage of the 30 years of experience I've had as an IFS (Internal Family Systems therapist, mediator, attorney, Chopra certified teacher of meditation, Ayurveda and yoga.
I put it all together in one program, and I'm offering it to you.
Please join me. And I look forward to staying connected.
I am happy to announce that I am starting a certification program for therapists and coaches, and also mediators, attorneys, clergy, counselors, to help people communicate better and to resolve their differences.
Over 30 years ago, I combined my degrees in therapy, mediation and law.
I've taken courses at the Chopra center. I'm a meditation teacher, yoga teacher and Aryuveda teacher.
I combine the psychological and spiritual, the legal and financial information that I want to give to you so that you can give it to your clients.
Together we can help change the face of divorce and conflict in general, one heart at a time.
I'd love to give you the benefit of my 35 years of degrees and experience to let you take this process of Compassionate Mediation, wherever you are in the world and use it to help your clients.
So please, you can check out that page, Linda kroll.com/certify and get all the details.
And if you're a therapist or a coach, you can get up to 40 hours of continuing education credits.
My course is approved by the National Board of Certified Counselors and by the International Coach Federation.
Please let me share all I've attained over the last 35 years and give it to you and let me firstname.lastname@example.org. If you have any questions, if you want to talk to me personally and find out if it's a fit
I have the benefit of all of my scripts, templates, outlines, handouts contracts, and I'd like to share it with you. So please join me in the certification process.
Wouldn't it be nice if families could be peacefully and respectfully restructured,
I want to offer you the skill set that I've developed based on ifs therapy, based on higher consciousness, which includes the psychological and spiritual healing along with emotional and financial and legal support.
Do you ever wish you had tools for your couples in conflict?
I know there've been times when I was starting out. I used to watch my counseling sessions get hijacked by an angry participant. And until I learned how to practice the skills I want to share with you, I would often not know how to handle that angry participant, but with Compassionate Mediation, you help people connect with empathy and get to the pain and sadness underneath so that the anger dissipates.
Compassionate Mediation also helps you serve more clients because you become an expert in the field of conflict resolution. You offer a deeper healing and transformation and you have a unique skillset.
If your clients are considering a divorce, you know the information to share with them.
It doesn't mean you have to be a lawyer or a mediator. It means you have to know enough to talk about the issues that they need to resolve to move forward.
There are many times when people are in individual counseling or couples counseling and one, or both have thought about what would a divorce look like.
But they don't even want to talk about it because they're scared if they do it makes it too real.
Compassionate Mediation lets you talk about everything, including what a possible ending would look like so that they can create a new beginning.
With everything going on in the world right now, have you wondered how you could help more people communicate?
A lot of people are stuck in quarantine, and they're communicating with some very bad habits. They may be sarcastic, they may be withholding, they may be judgmental, they may be secretly harboring a hope that they're going to separate once this quarantine is over. And they don't know where to turn.
I want to offer you a process so that you can help them. If you're a therapist, a coach, a mediator, an attorney, clergy, a counselor, I want to talk to you about Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation will help you help your clients communicate compassionately about every issue they've ever considered.
And it's different, it's different from marriage counseling, it's different from divorce counseling, and it's different from typical mediation.
Because in a typical mediation, both parties are ready to get divorced, they come and talk about a divorce, and that's all they talk about.
In marriage counseling, people are often feeling that the only thing they can talk about is how to save their marriage. But what if they've secretly thought about, “What would it be like to leave? How would I feel if I could find someone new? What if we could stop the fighting and start over somewhere else?” And if they are having those thoughts, they can't really invest in marriage counseling as fully as they might, if they were able to talk about everything.
Compassionate Mediation fosters a safe forum for talking about everything. They can talk about their money issues, their parenting roles, their finances, their sex life, and you will have the skillset to help them do that.
And that's why I'm offering a certification program in Compassionate Mediation®.
I wrote the book, Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to your Marriage or Compassion to your Divorce. And I've created a six-hour online video program that follows the book.
Go to CompassionateMediationProgram.com, to learn more about the six- hour video series that can help an individual or a couple to either add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce. It follows the book and it's available now.
If you are a professional who helps individuals and couples then my certification process is for you. And what that is, it's going to be a three-level process. The first one starts this soon, and it's going to be eight weeks, two hours a week, where I give you every detail of the process that I created.
Compassionate Mediation is a process to help you
become an expert in conflict resolution
foster compassionate communication
help an individual and couples create a relationship that they truly desire and deserve.
As you increase your expertise, income and impact.
And how do you do that?
The Certification is an “A to Z” training on everything you need to know. It helps you
do an initial interview to get all the information you need to understand the dynamics, the family dynamics, the family of origin dynamics, how they relate now, what parts they get triggered with each other, and how to help them get to their highest and best self.
help your clients create a compassionate relationship — no matter what decisions they make in the future
share the Miracle of Empathy — so they can calmly, courageously and confidently talk about everything.
foster helpful, healing and transformative options for them to consider
provide legal and financial information and support
Thereare many couples that come to my office and either one or both is ready to leave the union.
When they start talking about the issues that have divided them ‑ Instead of being reactive, and angry, and yelling, and withholding, instead of doing that — they learn what it means to come from their highest and best SELR.
Being “in SELF” means they're calm, compassionate, creative, curious, connected, clear, confident, all the C words of the Internal Family Systems, IFS therapy that I practice.
They connect to their best self, they let go of the limiting beliefs and judgments that they have about their partner for themselves. The let go of burdens from the past, with all the backlog of feelings that they can let go of and they learn how to relate from their hearts.
Just imagine, imagine a couple or an individual who right now is sitting in quarantine, wondering what's going to happen when they get out.
You can reach them online or in person, but online as well, and teach them these skills because I'll teach them to you.
I'll give you the handouts, the templates, the scripts, the meditations.
You’ll have all of the information you need to help them get to their best self and create a compassionate relationship.
You will help them explore all their options — because many people don't know they have options. They think they have to stay in a situation that isn't meeting their needs, or they think they have to leave. And when they think they have leave, they're not ready so they stay stuck. But you can help them with all kinds of options.
And the options can be
going for counseling, individually or together
creating more time together
planning a separation or
planning a separation within the house
or just going to their own corners and giving each other a break.
There are many options, including what to know if they were going to separate or what to know if they were going to get divorced.
And that's all the information that I give you to give them.
If you're a therapist, you don't have to lose your clients to mediators or attorneys. You'll have the information to give them, to talk about every issue they need to talk about. If they're going to talk about property division or maintenance or child support, you learn from me how to have these conversations.
And then you help them process all those feelings that come up from the conversations they'll have. And that can go on for weeks and months and sometimes even years. And you're there supporting them the whole time.
If you're a coach, perhaps you don't know how to get new clients. But if you learn how to become certified in Compassionate Mediation, you'll have your own expertise and you'll be able to reach out to attorneys and financial planners and therapists and clergy, and let them know that you can coach people in this process.
You will help your clients facilitate either a new and better relationship or a peaceful and respectful separation and divorce. And again, you're coaching them, you're advising them with all of the information, all of the data that I give here.
If you're a mediator, you’ll have an expanded toolbox. I'm a mediator, a therapist, and an attorney. And in mediation, typical mediation, you often see the couple act out their reactivity in your office. Compassionate Mediation gives you a whole new skillset so that you can work with the couple and really help them heal.
And I have to tell you, there are many times when one or both parties have come to my office, seeking mediation, seeking to get a divorce. And in the course of learning how to come from their highest and best self, and relate with compassion and empathy, they start to talk about their issues in ways that they hadn't for years.
And they actually get to a place of understanding, compassion and forgiveness and that's when miracles happen. Then they create a new relationship together, so that's possible. And with Compassionate Mediation, you're given the skills to offer that besides just a one way route to divorce.
If you're an attorney, how many times have you been in a room with your clients, where over and over again, what you find is that they are fighting and you are being a therapist. Or you get late night calls because you're dealing with their emotional reactivity.
Compassionate Mediation gives you a skillset and a vernacular and a network of people with whom to collaborate and refer You're no longer the therapist without a skillset on helping them both have compassion for what they're feeling, compassion for what their partner's feeling, and a way to hear you and go through the process. It's much calmer and much clearer and much more connected and confident than they might've been without this process.
And if you're clergy, what you can do is you can bring spirituality back to a party. Compassionate Mediation can lead to a new marriage, which is a healing opportunity. If your conversations lead to a separation or divorce, you have the opportunity to create with a couple, a spiritual transformation that allows them to remain friends and create a restructured family ‑ where they have respect and kindness — and their children, if they have children, feel safe. And you can do that with the skills in Compassionate Mediation. I'd love for you to check out the certification program and book a time to chat with me.
Compassionate Mediation® is NOT just for individuals or couples considering divorce.
This process works with clients who aren’t worried about leaving, but want to improve their relationship with SELF-led communication.
Any relationship that needs healing or transformation will benefit — even if only one member of the relationship learns these skills.
Sometimes the willingness to consider what an ending may look like provides the impetus to create a new beginning together.
I’ll provide you with methods, strategies, and handouts I’ve used successfully with thousands of individuals and couples for over 35 years.
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra-Certified teacher of meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda, I have created a process that covers emotional and spiritual healing along with financial and legal information and support.
Families need not be broken, but can peacefully and respectfully restructured.
Together, we can improve relationships – and even change the face of divorce – one heart at a time.too
Linda Kroll is an Internal Family Systems therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra certified Master Teacher of meditation, yoga, and perfect health.
Linda merges psychotherapy and spirituality along with her financial and legal information to provide a unique method of relationship healing and transformation from the inside out.
She has her original systems of learning, Compassionate Meditation®, and Self-led Divorce® that have helped to change the lives of many people going through divorce. She does this one heart at a time. She is also a recent international best-selling author of the book, Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroads: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
P: Linda, I’d love to start for those who haven’t had the pleasure of knowing you yet, if you could tell us a little bit about your background and how you came to your passion and purpose, because you have such a varied and distinguished background.
LK: Thank you. I appreciate that and the introduction as well. To make the Reader’s Digest veesion of a long story as short as possible, I’m going to start when I was a little girl and then go for ward. I’m just kidding, but actually that is what I’m going to do, because there’s an inner child in all of us.
When I go back to my childhood, when I was very young, I had wonderful parents. My father is gone. My mother, thank God, is 94 and still with us. My father was an undiagnosed manic depres- sive when I was growing up, so there was a lot of yelling in my little two-bedroom house that I shared with my parents and my brother.
When I was a little girl, I would leave letters on the kitchen table before I’d go to bed. “Please talk nicer to each other. Just please talk nicer.” The letters would be gone, and nothing would be changed.
Now 65 or so years later, I’m writing and sometimes people are actually reading what I’m writing, as opposed to my parents who didn’t.
It’s always been about how can we talk with more compassion to each other. How can we be kinder? How can we understand ourselves with more kindness and self-love?
Jump ahead, many years later. I met and married my college sweetheart. We had two wonderful daughters. About 20 years into the marriage, I realized I was looking at divorce for a lot of different reasons.
Right after I had graduated college, I went to law school. I was a psych major. I went to law school, but I was fortunate to be able to stay home with my children. I told people I was doing family law, but I was really being a mom.
When I was looking at a divorce, even though I had my legal degree and license, I went back to become a mediator. I thought perhaps I could mediate my own divorce, but I often say that mediating your own divorce is kind of like delivering your own baby. It might be possible, but not the way you want to go.
Shortly after that, I knew that law and mediation were good for me to offer, but it didn’t really meet the fulfillment I wanted, so I went back to school and I became a licensed clinical professional counselor and I found Dick Schwartz and the Internal Family Systems way of doing therapy.
If anybody saw Inside Out, the Disney movie, I learned that from Dick 20 years ago and have been helping my clients with it, with the idea that we all have a higher SELF.
When we’re connected to that higher self, we’re calm, we’re clear, we’re compassionate. Instead of coming from our higher SELF, we’re usually coming from the Parts that were in the movie and many other parts.
I can explain that a little bit more later, but that’s what I brought to my practice – how do we get to our highest self, speak for the parts of us that are sad and scared and hurt, and not try to manage our pain by being stoic or codependent, and not get extreme when we can't manage the pain by eating too much or drinking or having an affair or however people cope.
How do you love yourself enough to connect to your highest self, let go of any limiting beliefs that you’ve had since childhood, unburden any pain that you’ve had, and really relate from your heart?
That’s the purpose of the book.
Teach people how to do it, and teach them to do it at a time when they are most confused and most in pain. That’s when they’re considering staying or leaving the relationship or marriages that they’re in.
P: How powerful is this? What a great contribution to the world! There’s always been a lot of need for what you do, but probably nev- er more than there is now.
LK: Thank you. I believe we’re all spiritual. It’s not my quote, but I
do believe that ‘we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience.’
In our human experience, we often react. When we’re coming from our highest self, we can observe and witness and respond.
To learn how to do that more, the Chopra Center came to Chicago, which is where I’m from, several years ago. Deepak Chopra and David Simon, Davidji and Claire Diab from the Chopra Center came and taught meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda, perfect health.
It called to me because my monkey mind – that 60,000 thoughts a day, ADD-related mind – would go on and on and on without an ability to really get to that quiet center that I knew that I had.
In studying meditation, I later learned how to teach it, along with yoga and with Ayurveda. I’m very proud to say that I think I’m one of 300, maybe 350 people in the world that have reached the level of Master Teacher that the Chopra Center out of California gives.
I weave into all that do, whether it’s individual counseling, couples counseling, divorce mediation, or coaching families. I weave into all of it the spiritual as well as the psychological, and then if people need it, both the legal and financial information too.
P: It’s just really incredible. It’s such an unusual technique.
LK: Thank you. That’s what led to the book, and the full title of the book is, Compassionate Mediation For Relationships at a Crossroad. The subtitle is, How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce. The reason that I did that is because I have a lot of people. I’ve been seeing private clients and couples for almost 25 years now, and when they come to see me, they’re often so hurt and so confused that I realized the people who were in the most pain were the ones that were really up in the air about what they wanted to do.
Did they want to stay? Did they want to go? I looked at why did they want to go? Was it really irreconcilable? If they learned how to forgive themselves and each other, would it be possible to create something new?
Over the years, I’ve found myself saying the same thing over and over to the people that would come in.
The first session would be all about how do you get to your higher self. I would teach them the miracle of empathy, and then I went over information they would need to know if they would get divorced, like what would they do about their property division? What would they do for maintenance? What would they do about co-parenting or child support?
Once they had those bits of information coupled with a newfound ability to really speak with empathy and compassion and forgiveness, they had the opportunity to create a brand new relationship that was out of their reach before.
I wanted to make these tools available to everyone, wherever they are, in their relationship. If an individual comes to see me alone or reads the book, they have access to all this information that i give to my clients in my office.
P: That is so wonderful and the really beautiful thing about your book is that it went international bestseller. Now these tools and this unique approach are available to people all over the world.
LK:It is, and I want to acknowledge you, for anyone reading, who wants to work and have that same trajectory for their book, to really hire Viki to give you the tools to reach all those people in a way that you wouldn’t be able to yourself.
I am so eternally grateful to you, Viki, both your wisdom and your knowledge and your personality and the late night calls that went on during the book launch. I couldn’t have done it without you, and so grateful for all your help, truly.
P: Thank you so much. It’s always so lovely to be working with a really, really fine author and information that again is so incredibly valuable for people across the globe to be able to access. I think everyone has some information in them that they need to release, but this book is really very, very special. Linda, you’ve been doing this in a therapeutic setting for a long time. What made you decide to start writing the book?
LK: The reality is I would like to eventually make the tools available to everyone because as a mediator, I have a certain hourly rate, and when people come to see me, they pay that.
What I teach is more important than me, so I would like the system out there.
I would like the system helping people.
Beyond that, I would like to train other people to deliver Compassionate Mediation so that it becomes a whole new paradigm for conflict resolution — that anytime an individual or a couple is uncertain about where to go, they seek out someone who knows how to help them do Compassionate Mediation.
That new ability which is more than marriage counseling and more than divorce mediation, is a combination of the two of them in ways that they wouldn’t normally get.
To explain a little further, usually when a couple would come to me, there would be at least one member–sometimes two–but one member who thought more marriage counseling was going to be a waste of time.
They weren’t really invested in being present for more of the same. The other party didn’t want to talk about a divorce, because they were still hoping that a miracle would happen.
What Compassionate Mediation does and what the book does is give you the framework for talking about both and at the same time you’re learning forgiveness, compassion, and empathy, and all of the legal/financial issues, and even the parenting issues, and even the sexual issues that may divide you–finding a whole new way to communicate from your heart instead of from your head that has been judging and blaming and defending for sometimes years or decades.
P: What a fantastic position to be coming from. Regardless of what the outcome is, it has to just really enrich the relationship.
LK: Not only does it enrich the relationship, it saves the children the agony of what a typical divorce, separation, or even cold war happens, because children know everything.
Even if you’re not overtly fighting, they can see when a relationship is in trouble. They can see when parents don’t respect each other, don’t get along, aren’t affectionate, have their walls up around their heart to defend themselves, or are seeing their partner through the filter of judgment, which always strains the energy between them or the tone of their voice.
This process, Compassionate Mediation, can be used at any time, before, during, after separation, conflict, after a divorce, even to heal the family in a way that allows for two people who once loved each other to co-create a new relationship, whether it’s a new marriage that’s more passionate — or a separation or divorce that’s respectful, that really heals at the same time that it transforms.
P: That’s such a beautiful picture. Linda, you are such a busy lady. How did you determine that you wanted to write a book from the standpoint of the creative side? How do you boost your creativity with all that you’ve got going and all the business that you have going on to make that happen?
LK: I’d just tell anybody out there who’s thinking of it, just don’t give up on your dreams, because I think the first draft of this particular book began in 2000, if not before.
I just always knew that the message was important to share, because I think we’re all co-creators of whatever we create, and the universe, God, the divine, will work through us if we get our egos out of the way and let it.
I always knew that the book was there. It’s not my line, but like Michelangelo with the marble – ‘You just chisel away what’s not necessary and you get to the message that’s there.’
The message is really that love is the answer, but it starts with loving yourself.
My job as a therapist, as a mediator, as an attorney, as a coach, is to help people recognize that they’re already divine.
They already have inside them all they need, and possibly from their childhood, from other experiences, they have learned a certain way to manage their lives and manage their relationships, but it’s not really from their highest. It’s not really from their truest self.
They have to learn how to love themselves enough to be authentic, the courage to speak their truth, and to know that there is a divine plan for their life.
Even if they choose to leave their partner, there’s a divine plan for that parting that doesn’t have to be what the typical divorce has been in the past, which is adversarial and antagonistic, and ultimately destructive.
P: Yes, part of loving yourself is, as you say, when you have a dream as you did to actually get this out to the world in the way of a book. It is honoring yourself and loving yourself to give you the time in a busy schedule to be able to create that vehicle, that book.
LK: It took much more focus. I often say that it was much more difficult to deliver than my two children. It took much longer. It took many more hours to focus. I’m a little ADD, so that was dif- ficult.
I had two wonderful editors, CJ Schepers and also my cousin, Leonard Sharp, both two wonderful editors who were able to hone me in and get it done.
It’s also learning how to ask for help. Anything that you think you want to do, I would say get help for it.
I took Christine’s Kloser Get Your Book Done course. I took Big Beautiful Book Plan from Linda Sivertsen and Danielle LaPorte.
I’m happy to say that my transformational author book proposal was chosen both by Hay House and by New World Library as a winner. I ended up publishing it myself so I could get it out now.
I also am planning courses around it to either help the people who need Compassionate Mediation or train the people who want to learn it.
As far as the creative process goes, it’s really just giving yourself permission instead of looking for perfection and taking it a step at a time in as bite-sized chunks as possible.
The last mentor I want to mention – not the last, but one of my major ones, is the fabulous SARK – Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy.
I had the privilege of working with her both online and privately, and her beloved Dr. John Waddell were both mentors of mine who helped me to see that if I’m coming from an energy or pushing or needing to get it done or ego driven, it’s going to be hard.
If I could really get into a flow of knowing that I am being guided, and if I just show up in what SARK calls micro movements, little bits at a time, that the “how it’s going to get done” isn't as important as taking one step of inspired action at a time. That’s how I got it done.
P: So beautiful. What do you hope readers more specifically will take away from the book? If you had to pick one or two things, what would you like to see that be?
LK: Love and forgiveness.
P: That’s so simple and yet so unbelievably powerful.
LK: What I teach about compassionate communication and empathy and loving yourself and knowing you’re divine and the five steps to getting what you want and need,
it helps every relationship.
It’s a way of communicating that honors the higher self in your child, your parent, your coworker, your friend so that communication can shift from talking at someone to talking with someone or talking from your heart and your judgement and your blame, of talking with your head with those things, to really reaching into your heart and forgiving yourself and the other par- ty for not being better, knowing you’ve done the best you could, and from this point forward, you have a chance to do it better.
I just offered a workshop at the IFS (Internal Family Systems) conference in Denver, and here is what some of the workshop participants had to say:
“Thanks so much. This gives me a roadmap and framework for helping couples navigate their decision making in a way that honors and empowers both parties.”
“Great material/program. I’m buying the book, Thank you for your generosity in sharing.”
“I especially enjoyed and found useful the role plays.”
“So much good stuff! Thank you.”
“Should I stay or should I go?” is a question clients ask themselves and may also ask you. As a therapist or coach, it can be challenging to know what subjects to cover and how to help them make SELF-led decisions in the highest good for all concerned.
You can tools offer information, guidance and support. Looking at an ending can often lead to a new beginning.
Families need not be broken, but can peacefully and respectfully restructured.
Clients can be offered emotional and spiritual healing (along with financial and legal information) to help them add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce.
I look forward to connecting soon.
All my best,
P.S. I’ve been sharing this process for many years, and I’ll soon be 73! I’m looking for other therapists, mediators, attorneys, coaches and clergy to take this process to your clients so that together we can change the face of divorce – one heart at a time!