Your Family Can Be Peacefully and Respectfully Restructured.
The Way Forward Starts with SELF
You once promised to love your partner forever, and now you’re thinking about a divorce. You are probably wondering if this is the best decision, and worried about the effects on your children and your partner. You can make decisions with mutual respect and peaceful dialogue. I’ve helped thousands of individual and couples to learn a new way to communicate so they can discuss all their issues as they heal and transform their relationship—even under the most contentious circumstances.
I can help you – with a free chapter of my book and in my online video program.
If you have children, you don’t want them to suffer from an adversarial process that pits one parent against the other. You can resolve your differences and co-create an amicable co-parenting relationship. If you don’t have children, you can heal your heart and be free to move into the next chapter of your life with a sense of empowered liberation.
“Should I stay or should I go?”
How many times have you asked yourself this question—over how many days, weeks, months, years, even decades?
- Do you feel like your relationship is difficult and don’t know how to change it?
- Have you been thinking about leaving, but are afraid to bring it up?
- Have you had marriage counseling that didn’t work?
- Are you too “checked out” to even try again?
- Do you feel angry, hopeless, defeated, disconnected?
- Are you considering leaving your relationship, but not sure what to do next?
- Are you reluctant to talk with an attorney because that would make the situation “real?
- Have you “threatened” to leave for so long that your partner doesn’t believe you anymore?
Right now, you may be suffering in silence or engaged in all-out war with your partner.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Many couples play our their emotional dramas without regard to the collateral damage they inflict on their innocent children. Two people who once cared enough to promise to love and cherish each other can begin to feel fear and anger after years of pain and unmet needs.
The more experience I have counseling these hurting individuals, the more I have compassion for the profound sadness underneath the rage. And no matter how far apart a man and wife can become emotionally and physically, their children are caught in the middle and continue to feel the strife.
Families do not have to be “broken”, but can be peacefully and respectfully re-structured.
Whether you are stuck in an emotionally abusive situation, considering a divorce, in the middle of one, or long past the date of dissolution, if you are still angry and/or anxious in the company of your (ex)spouse, there is healing that can be done.
It starts with compassion – for yourself at first, and then eventually for your (former) partner.
No matter what the reasons are that cause a union to terminate, there is pain and sadness and fear on both sides. Learning how to acknowledge those feelings, and to be met with empathy and understanding, is a gift you give your whole family, beginning with yourself.
Your children will only have one biological mother and father, no matter how many other partners are introduced into their lives. Children of all ages seek on some level to have a “happy family.”
If you can’t find a way to live with the other parent, you can find a way to connect with civility, courtesy, and even kindness.
Healing can happen, and it starts with you.
Some of my clients ask me, “Why should I have to do any more work? I was always the only one who cared enough to try harder!”
The work you do is ultimately for your own personal growth. With or without your (former) partner present, you can explore the origins of your own pain and anger, and learn how to relay your needs in words that don’t sound blaming or judgmental. You can learn how to calmly talk about your sadness and your fears, even if the end result is a decision to leave your marriage.
And if your divorce has already begun, you can find a way to reframe your experience so that it becomes a catalyst for forgiveness and a healthy letting go of pain. As you heal, your children benefit from your inner peace. And then you are truly free to go on with your own life, unburdened from the wounds of your past.
Divorce is the death of a dream.
When you get married to someone you love, you do not think you will ever get divorced. When faced with the end of your marriage, the grieving must be done. Calcifying your loss with indifference, resentments, or cut-offs only exacerbates the heartache you and your children bear. Learning how to relate to the other parent with dignity and respect is a priceless gift of love to your child and ultimately to yourself.
Divorce itself does not cause the damage. It is the parental conflict and bitter feelings that leave the lifelong wounds.
Losing Your Marriage, Finding Your SELF
Victim or empowered? The choice is yours. You can exit a marriage with grace, no matter how long it’s been since you first said “I do”. And it is never too late to begin. The first step you take is the path to your authentic SELF a state of calm, clarity, compassion, creativity, courage, and confidence.
Compassionate Mediation®
Alone or with your partner, you can make decisions that will affect the rest of your life. You and your spouse can calmly discuss all issues in a compassionate way to lead to a peaceful and respectful resolution.
Post-divorce, healing can still be accomplished, with or without your former partner present. How did he/she remind you of your mother/father? What issues did you bring to the relationship? What can you learn to help you form more positive relationships in the future?
The Miracle of Empathy
Understanding and forgiving yourself and each other charts your course towards emotional liberation. As unbelievable as it may seem to you now, your future can be filled with peace and joy, and your children can have the benefit of parents who can both be present at important times in their lives.
If you don’t think it matters to your children any longer, just ask them.
You owe it to your “re-structured family”, and to yourself, to be open to the possibility of a healthier relationship.
It only takes one to start the process. You will be amazed at the difference it will make in all of your lives. You have inside of you all the answers you need. Take you time. Listen for your own voice. And take good care of your SELF.
How do you take the first step?
If you feel you’ve reached the end of your rope, that you can’t go on this way any longer—that you’re at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn next—before you take a step in any direction, it’s time to come home to your SELF.
Love is the answer —and it all starts with loving your SELF.
We use many terms today to describe our most centered, compassionate and spiritual nature: for example, true self, inner wisdom, higher self, etc. Regardless of your beliefs, and in the interest of laying common ground and language between us, I call this best, most loving, wisest part of us—the SELF (all capital letters).
We’ve all had those moments when we feel, calm, clear and compassionate. Moments when we’re free of judgment or anger toward others, and simply respond from our hearts, our higher SELF. Think about those times when you just “knew” you were seeing the world from a “higher perspective.” And you didn’t have to force it. It just happened.
Create the Relationship
You Desire and Deserve!
No two relationships are alike.
If you take a moment to tell me about yours,
I can offer you solutions to help you make the changes you need now.
Your FREE RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT will be sent to you,
To learn more about how to get to SELF, get your free chapter of my award-winning book, Compassionate Mediation®:How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce. – and let the healing begin.
