I’m inviting you to take a few moments, take a few breaths, and as you focus on what a beautiful day it is here and hopefully where you are, go inside and see if you can find a feeling that you haven’t been letting yourself feel.
If it’s a big feeling like sadness or fear or anger or pain, just invite that feeling to titrate.
What does it mean to titrate? it’s like when a nurse comes into a hospital and adjusts the rate of the drip in the IV bag. You can ask your feelings to come out a drip at a time, instead of overwhelming you.
Let’s invite our feelings to titrate in a way that we can handle instead of ignoring them, instead of denying them, instead of staying too busy or eating too much.
Wherever you are now, let’s just connect with our hearts, with each other, and just for a moment allow ourselves to feel a feeling.
Sometimes when we’re lucky enough to have friends that we can feel our feelings with we’re very blessed. In the meantime, we can be our own friend to ourself and allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel.
We don’t need to eat too much or drink too much or deny them or repress them or suppress them, we can just be with what we feel. Even if we can’t be with it because it’s not right right time, let’s just send our feelings some hugs.
Let’s just your feelings know you know they’re there. Go deeper and deeper and send love to your inner child if she or he is still suffering from something unacknowledged, sending love to your inner bride or inner groom who may have some feelings.
I think when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings we get all bottled up, we get stuck, we get heavy, and dense, and slow, and sluggish, and moody.
If we could just acknowledge time to journal or meditate or take a walk or sit in nature or connect with someone we love or cry or vent or scream or whatever you need.
Just take a minute or two. Even if you don’t have that minute or two to be with the feelings, send them hugs. Let them know you’re there, let them know you’re aware.
In the quiet, compassionate, witnessing awareness that we can give our feelings, those parts of us that we exile or ignore, when we take just a few moments to give them the attention they can transform.
We’re just going to take a look at what it’s like to be in nature, to be in a place where we can explore our inner being and not have to do, be, do.
Here’s my little spot, right there, welcome you to join me, and here’s what it \looks like when I come here.
I just knew I wanted to be with you today. Nothing special, just sending love, and sending a request if you choose to join me, and taking a moment to take a breath and take a look inside and be with ourselves in a loving, compassionate, giving way that will give so many other people in our lives.
Even a few moments will make the difference. We can all pretend we’re taking a little walk deeper, and deeper, and deeper into the core of our being where everything we meet here is love; so your sad parts, your vulnerable parts, your hurt parts, your envious parts, your judgmental parts — just love them all. In loving them all they can transform.
Then when you’ve hugged your feelings send a lot of love and hugs, and understanding, and compassion to the feelings of the people in your life.
You can never have too much love, empathy or compassion.
In this moment of feeling our feelings, allowing them to breathe, bringing compassion to ourselves and ultimately to others, we can also just join hearts and hands in this beautiful experience of life.
Whatever you might be challenged with or struggling with, now or in the past, just allow yourself to feel and reach out for help.
Ask people you love to support you so that you know you’re not alone. Just know I’m sending you a lot of love, a lot of light, a lot of compassion.
Your fear can be a big feeling, but if we just allow ourselves to feel it and just tune in to what you’re afraid of that can dissipate. We don’t have to stay too busy to be afraid, we can just deal with our fear and share it because it’s universal, everything we feel is universal.
Just like the tree is supported by the earth, so too are we. Take a few deep breaths, belly breaths, and as your feet touch the ground, wherever you are, just imagine growing roots to the center of the earth.
Imagine as those roots grow deeper and wider you’re going to feel very firmly rooted, and planted, and grounded.
Invite up from the earth some nurturing and supportive energy. It goes from your feet up through your legs, your thighs, your hips, your groin, your stomach, your chest, and into and around your heart, with all the feelings that you have.
Then allow that nurturing energy from the earth to go up through your throat, your jaw, behind your eyes, your forehead, to the crown of your head, and out the crown of your head all the way to the sky.
Then invite down from the sky, universe, mother nature, higher power, God, what’s ever out there, invite down some very calm and compassionate energy.
Breathe even bigger than yourself so you surround yourself with this calm, compassionate energy. Then focus that compassion inward and find any place in your body where you’re holding tension or tightness, where you’ve got a thought or a feeling, and just allow yourself to be with it.
You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to make sense of anything, you don’t have to fix anything, you don’t have to change anything, just allow yourself to be.
In that being-ness you’re bringing full presence to the moment.
With your full presence, full awareness, and open heart, your feelings have a place to move and be embraced. As you feel your feelings you might want to journal (or not) or you just might want to take a moment or two and know that you’ve given them some attention.
Thanks for being here, thanks for being with yourself.
Spend a few more moments with yourself and come back and join me at the Botanic either virtually, or like some people can hopefully soon, in person.
Sending you a lot of love, a lot of light, and a lot of hopes for a beautiful day filled with all kinds of feelings and, most of all, ones that bring you gratitude and joy.
Sending you love, bye for now.
xoxoxo
p.s. Feel your feelings so that you can transform them, release them, and let them go. Then you have room for more peace, love and joy. Y
You Can Heal and Transform
Your Relationship
with Your Former Spouse.
Even though your divorce is over, you may have lingering unresolved issues with your “ex.” Don’t give up hope on improving your relationship. It’s never too late! Get your FREE CHAPTER and apply the information in it to help heal and transform your “post-divorce” relationship
Your Family Can Be Peacefully and Respectfully Restructured.
The Way Forward Starts with SELF
You once promised to love your partner forever, and now you’re thinking about a divorce. You are probably wondering if this is the best decision, and worried about the effects on your children and your partner. You can make decisions with mutual respect and peaceful dialogue. I’ve helped thousands of individual and couples to learn a new way to communicate so they can discuss all their issues as they heal and transform their relationship—even under the most contentious circumstances.
If you have children, you don’t want them to suffer from an adversarial process that pits one parent against the other. You can resolve your differences and co-create an amicable co-parenting relationship. If you don’t have children, you can heal your heart and be free to move into the next chapter of your life with a sense of empowered liberation.
“Should I stay or should I go?”
How many times have you asked yourself this question—over how many days, weeks, months, years, even decades?
Do you feel like your relationship is difficult and don’t know how to change it?
Have you been thinking about leaving, but are afraid to bring it up?
Have you had marriage counseling that didn’t work?
Are you too “checked out” to even try again?
Do you feel angry, hopeless, defeated, disconnected?
Are you considering leaving your relationship, but not sure what to do next?
Are you reluctant to talk with an attorney because that would make the situation “real?
Have you “threatened” to leave for so long that your partner doesn’t believe you anymore?
Right now, you may be suffering in silence or engaged in all-out war with your partner.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Many couples play our their emotional dramas without regard to the collateral damage they inflict on their innocent children. Two people who once cared enough to promise to love and cherish each other can begin to feel fear and anger after years of pain and unmet needs.
The more experience I have counseling these hurting individuals, the more I have compassion for the profound sadness underneath the rage. And no matter how far apart a man and wife can become emotionally and physically, their children are caught in the middle and continue to feel the strife.
Families do not have to be “broken”, but can be peacefully and respectfully re-structured.
Whether you are stuck in an emotionally abusive situation, considering a divorce, in the middle of one, or long past the date of dissolution, if you are still angry and/or anxious in the company of your (ex)spouse, there is healing that can be done.
It starts with compassion – for yourself at first, and then eventually for your (former) partner.
No matter what the reasons are that cause a union to terminate, there is pain and sadness and fear on both sides. Learning how to acknowledge those feelings, and to be met with empathy and understanding, is a gift you give your whole family, beginning with yourself.
Your children will only have one biological mother and father, no matter how many other partners are introduced into their lives. Children of all ages seek on some level to have a “happy family.”
If you can’t find a way to live with the other parent, you can find a way to connect with civility, courtesy, and even kindness.
Healing can happen, and it starts with you.
Some of my clients ask me, “Why should I have to do any more work? I was always the only one who cared enough to try harder!”
The work you do is ultimately for your own personal growth. With or without your (former) partner present, you can explore the origins of your own pain and anger, and learn how to relay your needs in words that don’t sound blaming or judgmental. You can learn how to calmly talk about your sadness and your fears, even if the end result is a decision to leave your marriage.
And if your divorce has already begun, you can find a way to reframe your experience so that it becomes a catalyst for forgiveness and a healthy letting go of pain. As you heal, your children benefit from your inner peace. And then you are truly free to go on with your own life, unburdened from the wounds of your past.
Divorce is the death of a dream.
When you get married to someone you love, you do not think you will ever get divorced. When faced with the end of your marriage, the grieving must be done. Calcifying your loss with indifference, resentments, or cut-offs only exacerbates the heartache you and your children bear. Learning how to relate to the other parent with dignity and respect is a priceless gift of love to your child and ultimately to yourself.
Divorce itself does not cause the damage. It is the parental conflict and bitter feelings that leave the lifelong wounds.
Losing Your Marriage, Finding Your SELF
Victim or empowered? The choice is yours. You can exit a marriage with grace, no matter how long it’s been since you first said “I do”. And it is never too late to begin. The first step you take is the path to your authentic SELF a state of calm, clarity, compassion, creativity, courage, and confidence.
Compassionate Mediation®
Alone or with your partner, you can make decisions that will affect the rest of your life. You and your spouse can calmly discuss all issues in a compassionate way to lead to a peaceful and respectful resolution.
Post-divorce, healing can still be accomplished, with or without your former partner present. How did he/she remind you of your mother/father? What issues did you bring to the relationship? What can you learn to help you form more positive relationships in the future?
The Miracle of Empathy
Understanding and forgiving yourself and each other charts your course towards emotional liberation. As unbelievable as it may seem to you now, your future can be filled with peace and joy, and your children can have the benefit of parents who can both be present at important times in their lives.
If you don’t think it matters to your children any longer, just ask them.
You owe it to your “re-structured family”, and to yourself, to be open to the possibility of a healthier relationship.
It only takes one to start the process. You will be amazed at the difference it will make in all of your lives. You have inside of you all the answers you need. Take you time. Listen for your own voice. And take good care of your SELF.
How do you take the first step?
If you feel you’ve reached the end of your rope, that you can’t go on this way any longer—that you’re at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn next—before you take a step in any direction, it’s time to come home to your SELF.
Love is the answer —and it all starts with loving your SELF.
We use many terms today to describe our most centered, compassionate and spiritual nature: for example, true self, inner wisdom, higher self, etc. Regardless of your beliefs, and in the interest of laying common ground and language between us, I call this best, most loving, wisest part of us—the SELF (all capital letters).
We’ve all had those moments when we feel, calm, clear and compassionate. Moments when we’re free of judgment or anger toward others, and simply respond from our hearts, our higher SELF. Think about those times when you just “knew” you were seeing the world from a “higher perspective.” And you didn’t have to force it. It just happened.
Whether you want to create
a more PASSIONATE Marriage or a COMPASSIONATE Divorce,
help is here now.
Please take a moment to tell me about your situation and I’ll send you a FREE Chapter of my award-winning book on Compassionate Mediation® and other resources to heal and transform your relationship – no matter what form it takes! Please click here.
You will be able to:
Be your best SELF now
Create a Compassionate Relationship
Explore All Your Options
Understand Your Finances
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve.
Compassionate Communication offers a new way to communicate to give you the tools to create something new and better – either alone or together. You can stop being reactive, defensive, judgmental or blaming and offer the best of who you are to your partner now.
With empathy, you communicate about all the issues that are causing you stress, and make decisions that are calm, clear and confident.
As you look at all the options you have to make changes – with yourself and between you both, you will see that transformation is possible, even if you’ve been hopeless for awhile.
Whether you are:
unhappy but hopeful
unhappy but stuck
separated
divorcing
post-divorce
You can change how you feel about your situation as you add more peace, love and joy to your life.
Please SHARE with anyone who could use more calm and clarity during a challenging time! We can help heal and transform relationships and families now.
As a therapist, mediator and attorney, I am dedicated to helping change the face of divorce, one heart at a time.
You can go to counseling by yourself, or invite your spouse to join you for marital counseling. Are you
being your best Self in your relationship or reacting with negativity and blame?
relating with kindness to the person you once promised to love forever?
angry and judgmental at yourself as well as your spouse?
You may be ambivalent about whether to try marriage counseling (again) or just file for divorce. You might feel overwhelmed, scared, or lost in indecision. Fear, uncertainty, anger and resentment have possibly impacted your relationship over time.
Learn a new way to communicate.
However, if one or both of you are so unhappy that you have secretly thought of – or openly discussed – the possibility of separating or ending the relationship, then Compassionate Mediation® is just what you need.
Compassionate Mediation® is a healing program to help you communicate with your partner to resolve all of your conflicts.
It is a short-term process that helps add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce.
You or your partner might feel trapped in habitual patterns that create “walls” that prevent you from being your best SELF in your relationship.
Compassionate Mediation® provides a safe place for you to talk about everything that has been an issue in your relationship. You will:
communicate with compassion
feel heard and understood
share your feelings courageously
give and receive empathy
be safe to “put down your walls”
forgive yourself and your partner.
Compassionate Mediation® is for you if you want to try to create a new and better marriage instead of proceeding towards a break up or divorce with hurt and anger.
And if you do ultimately decide to part ways, you will be able to do so with respect and peace.
Instead of reacting in ways that continue to do harm, you learn to relate from your heart — and from your best Self.
What does it mean to be “in Self?”
When you are “in SELF,” you are more calm, clear and compassionate. You speak with more confidence, as you stay connected to your intuition and deeper knowing.
You are not making decisions from reactive “Parts” of you that may be scared, walled, judgmental, angry or retaliatory. You are able to stay in the present moment and co-create a relationship that considers everyone’s needs, starting with your own.
Problems in your relationship are not always about “what” is said but “how” you are saying it. When speaking from SELF, you can create more acceptance, attention, appreciation and affection for each other.
At the same time, you will also be able to discuss other possibilities for a new relationship – including a separation, a legal separation, or a SELF-led Divorce®.
What is a “Self-Led Divorce®?”
When divorce or separation has been considered, Compassionate Mediation offers a neutral forum to explore all options with compassion and respect. If divorce is the final outcome, you will be able to create a SELF-led Divorce® that will be for the highest good for all concerned.
A SELF-led Divorce® is one in which you and your partner communicate from your highest and best SELF with compassion, confidence, clarity and courage to peacefully and respectfully re-structure your family.
When Should You Seek Compassionate Mediation?
The sooner Compassionate Mediation® is begun, the better. You will be informed, empowered and able to communicate with honesty and empathy.
Compassionate Mediation® is will help you:
any time you have problems in your relationship
before, during or after your divorce
as soon as you recognize there are issues that cause you to feel distance or pain
communicate without judgment or blame
create a new and better relationship
Compassionate Mediation® is an opportunity to heal and transform your relationship to foster friendship and trust.
If you have been thinking about a divorce, Compassionate Mediation gives you an opportunity to discuss all of your issues that have caused you to feel unhappy, angry or stuck. You can look at your situation from a new perspective and become more SELF-led.
If you are in the middle of your divorce, Compassionate Mediation is an opportunity to end the legal battles and learn a way to communicate and reach a respectful and equitable settlement.
If you are still suffering or fighting after your divorce, Compassionate Mediation gives you new skills with which to relate to your ex-spouse and create healing in your re-structured family.
Compassionate Mediation is for you if you want to try to create a new and better marriage instead of proceeding towards a break-up or divorce with hurt and anger.
Is Compassionate Mediation the same as marriage counseling?
No, it is more.
In marriage counseling, both parties may seem to be committed to staying in the marriage. However, often one or both may have a secret thought of a separation or divorce that they may not share with their partner. This secret agenda covertly affects the way they are able to participate in the counseling since the discussion about what a separation or divorce would look like is never discussed.
Compassionate Mediation is a program to help individuals or couples who are ambivalent about their future. The conversation helps you to decide whether to divorce or create a new marriage based on who each party is now and what they each want and need from this time forward.
The short-term process of Compassionate Mediation Program gives you and your partner information about all of your options, including a separation, legal separation, or a divorce.
With full knowledge of your potential rights, responsibilities, gains and losses, you might renew your desire to truly heal your current relationship and make positive actions in the direction of meeting both of your needs.
If divorce is ultimately your final outcome, you will embark on the process with much more confidence, clarity and calm, and be able to create a SELF-led Divorce®.
Is Compassionate Mediation the same as traditional mediation?
Again, it’s more. In traditional mediation. both parties are committed to pursuing a divorce, and the mediator helps with that conversation.
Compassionate Mediation® also helps you explore whether a new relationship together is still possible as you learn Compassionate Communication. At the same time, you discuss all your rights and responsibilities to feel fully informed and empowered.
In discussing what a “new marriage” would be, you also have an opportunity to create new patterns for all of your needs – financial, parental, familial, sexual.
Compassionate Mediation allows each partner to feel heard, understood and validated no matter what final outcome is chosen.
Time is provided for you to consider all your options – individually and as a couple.
Often, many of the decisions that would be addressed in a divorce mediation are covered in this process: money, parenting, roles and responsibilities, and any other issues that are causing hurt or dissension.
This way, you can begin to recognize what you have each contributed to the current situation, and what you can do yourself to make it better, including getting a job, helping more with the children, or finally knowing how to listen and empathize with your partner’s feelings.
If separation or divorce becomes your decision, you have each acquired the tools necessary to move forward with more honesty, integrity and respect.
The transition to a SELF-led Divorce becomes a healing opportunity rather than the typical adversarial proceeding it might have become.
Your family does not have to be “broken,” but can be peacefully and respectfully “re-structured.”
You and your partner are both encouraged to consider how your actions and choices have contributed to the current situation.
With no fault or blame, you are free to co-create new solutions with higher consciousness and more SELF-leadership.
When each party is in “SELF,” you are more compassionate, clear, confident, courageous, and connected to your inner wisdom and deeper knowing.
Whether you stay together (and create a new and better relationship) or get divorced, what you learn in the Compassionate Mediation Process will enhance your current relationship and give you more awareness in future relationships.
You can decide to create a new marriage, separate without any legal papers, decide on a legal separation or work together to dissolve your union with a SELF-led Divorce.
Whatever your ultimate decision, healing can happen and peace can be restored.
Love is the answer – and it starts with loving your SELF.
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve!
No two relationships are alike. If you take a moment to tell me about yours, I can offer you solutions to help you make the changes you need now.
For the next 48 hours, I am going to open the doors to the Compassionate Mediation® Program for a fraction of the cost it will be offered for in 2018.
I hope you will take advantage of this limited-time offer because I can only offer this rate to a small group of people. I’d love to have you with us.
As a therapist, mediator and attorney, as well as a spiritual advisor, I bring psychological and spiritual healing, along with legal and financial guidance to help you along your journey.
You can
stop feeling confused and conflicted and begin to feel confident and informed.
spare your children from the shrapnel of your animosity and conflict.
become enlightened and empowered to make healthy decisions.
You can prevent your children from becoming collateral damage in your divorce as you know that your questions will be answered and your path will feel more certain.
And finally, you can feel reassured that you are doing your very best to offer your spouse and your family the healthiest relationship OR the most respectful divorce possible.
I know the holidays can stretch your patience, time and budgets, that’s why I’m offering this impressive discount now. There are a limited number of spots so I can personally support everyone to the best of my ability.
Next year the program will cost $997. Today, I’m offering you a 80% discount of $197!
All you need to do is put down $97 to reserve your spot. You can pay the balance by January 21, 2018!
And the best part – there is a better-than-money back guarantee.
If, after the first module (of five), you feel that the program isn’t right for you, I’ll refund your money, no questions asked – AND you’ll get to keep the bonus of the Love Summit.
The Love Summit has 20 experts sharing their wisdom, humor and free gifts to help you add more passion, connection and fun to your life – starting now.
This may be the only time to take advantage of this offer. I want to make sure you have access to me directly to help you as I have helped thousands of people over the last 25 years.
I know you are reading this for a reason.
I know you want something better than what you have right now.
I’d love to help you heal and transform your relationship, starting in January.
The program will fill up fast, so go to this link now, and put down the $97 to reserve your spot. Once you do, I’ll invite you to a special webinar at the beginning of the year, and you’ll be able to relax in the knowledge that help is on the way.
Join now, and let’s take your relationship to the level of connection you’ve always desired.
And if your relationship is meant to end, let’s help your family “re-structure” instead of fracture and fall apart.
