Meditate to Hear the Messages of Your True Self

Meditate to Hear the Messages of Your True Self

Meditation as a Spiritual Quest

When you meditate, you practice detaching from the conditioned thoughts and beliefs of your ego and begin to attune to the innate desires of your higher SELF (or Soul.)

Meditation moves your response system from reactive—where you go into old knee jerk behaviors—and helps you to become more reflective and make conscious choices. You are able to break out of past conditioning of your Family of Origin and be willing to tap into the unconditioned SELF of your spiritual nature, which offers more compassion and connection.

The purpose of meditation can also be part of a spiritual quest to find out who you truly are and help you live your life more in SELF than in reactive Parts. Meditation takes you beyond your mind, intellect, and ego to your Soul and Spirit. You remember who you can be and not who you have become defensively in your relationship. You learn how to bring the best version of your SELF to your partnership and then watch it miraculously begin to transform.

davidji, in his book The Secrets of Meditation, offers this observation: ”Over time, meditation quiets you to a state where you experience life with a deeper understanding of your true Self, which can open the door to spiritual exploration, connection, discovery and fulfillment. It is along the so-called spiritual path that you truly can experience your unbounded Self—your unconditioned Self—the infinite you that rests at the core of who you are underneath your body and beneath this worldly garb of title, roles, masks, ego and the complexities of this life.”

As you meditate, you connect with your essential SELF and look within to get your needs met. You can remember your fundamental wholeness, divinity, and perfection, and connect with your Spirit on a daily basis. You experience silence and relaxation, and enrich your active daily life and all your relationships.

In speaking of the benefits of meditation, Dick Schwartz said, “This innate core within us is what some people call our Buddha nature, soul, ‘atman,’ and so forth. The problem is that too often this essence—what I call the Self—has been obscured by the protective parts of us that try to keep our lives on track in the mistaken belief that they know best. Thus, the process of coming to a fuller experience of self-compassion typically begins with creating open space for this Self to come forward.”

Meditation can help you remember that you are a reflection of the Divine, as is your partner. We’re all one, and we’re all divine. Sometimes you may need to take a loving timeout in meditation from the constant patterns of your mind, and then weave a whole new way of communication that can blanket your relationship with loving-kindness.

Forgiveness as an Antidote to Stress

Studies have shown that meditation improves forgiveness, which in turn can reduce stress. Forgiving yourself and your partner does not mean you will need to stay in your current relationship. Forgiveness is often a pre-requisite for being free to create a new relationship that is unencumbered from the shackles of past pain. You take better care of your SELF without needing walls or filters or burdens of any kind. Then you are free to create the relationship with yourself and others, with attention on constant and loving SELF care.

When you meditate, you can reboot, redo, or renew your relationship in so many loving ways. You can talk about all your issues with cooperation and mutual respect. You can rise above the level of the automatic fight/flight response to a problem and solve it from a higher level of consciousness. You will find creative and intuitive solutions that are made from your best SELF.

From an expanded perspective of SELF-leadership, you can talk about your children, money, work, sex. You can talk about everything you’ve ever wanted to talk about with ease and grace. Instead of feeling like adversaries, you feel like partners. Peace transcends conflict and joining together can actually feel like fun. You heighten your personal journey towards SELF-realization by accessing higher states of consciousness.

Focusing on your breath and meditation allows you to stay in constant contact with your highest and best SELF.  To learn more, please click here.

Dark Night of the Soul

Dark Night of the Soul

Divorce is like the Dark Night of the Soul

My heart goes out to you.

Anyone experiencing or ever touched by divorce has suffered a loss that was unexpected and devastating. You may be losing your marriage, but you now have the opportunity to find yourself, possibly for the first time in your life. Grieving the losses and feeling your feelings are necessary parts of the process of divorce. But also hold onto the reality that from this point on, your life may offer miracles you may never have dared to dream.

I have come to believe that there is a divine plan for our lives and we do not always understand it as we stumble along our paths. There are things that we are meant to learn, and the universe will give us subtle nudges, stronger hints, overt messages and finally some cataclysmic blows to get our attention to make the changes toward authenticity and self empowerment.

Divorce is the “dark night of the soul” which can either leave you a victim or a more authentic human being, capable of connecting with your Higher Power and true Self.

Divorce is a death – the death of a marriage, the death of a dream – which must be grieved and mourned just like any other demise. Too often people who have never experienced it themselves have no true concept of the enormity of the loss and pain and sadness that accompanies a divorce. It would be helpful if others would treat you with the same amount of deference, empathy and respect that widows and widowers are given when they lose their spouse.

Not only do you lose the spouse, but the dream, the security, the finances, the families, the friends, and often you miss your children on half the holidays for the rest of your life.

Sometimes divorce feels like you are going to your own funeral and being surprised at who doesn’t show up.

Just as people react to a death of a person, you have similar reactions to the death of your marriage.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross described those emotions as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

That translates into:
Denial: “This isn’t happening to me.”
Anger:  “Damn it this is happening to me!”
Bargaining:  “If I am very good or do this or don’t do that, this won’t happen to me.”
Depression: “Oh G-d, this is happening to me.”
Acceptance: “Thank G-d for what I learned because this happened to me.”

Each divorce is the most painful. Whether there were drugs or alcohol, abuse, infidelity, or the standard “irreconcilable differences,” the pain is intense because it is happening to you and it wasn’t supposed to happen to you. But it has, so what do you do now?

You balance the grieving with the growing, the hurting with the healing, and the losing with the loving – starting with loving yourself. To learn more, please click here.

My heart goes out to you. Anyone experiencing or ever touched by divorce has suffered a loss that was unexpected and devastating. You may be losing your marriage, but you now have the opportunity to find yourself, possibly for the first time in your life. Grieving the losses and feeling your feelings are necessary parts of the process of divorce. But also hold onto the reality that from this point on, your life may offer miracles you may never have dared to dream.

I have come to believe that there is a divine plan for our lives and we do not always understand it as we stumble along our paths. There are things that we are meant to learn, and the universe will give us subtle nudges, stronger hints, overt messages and finally some cataclysmic blows to get our attention to make the changes toward authenticity and self empowerment.

Divorce is the “dark night of the soul” which can either leave you a victim or a more authentic human being, capable of connecting with your Higher Power and true Self.

Divorce is a death – the death of a marriage, the death of a dream – which must be grieved and mourned just like any other demise. Too often people who have never experienced it themselves have no true concept of the enormity of the loss and pain and sadness that accompanies a divorce. It would be helpful if others would treat you with the same amount of deference, empathy and respect that widows and widowers are given when they lose their spouse.

Not only do you lose the spouse, but the dream, the security, the finances, the families, the friends, and often you miss your children on half the holidays for the rest of your life.

Sometimes divorce feels like you are going to your own funeral and being surprised at who doesn’t show up.

Just as people react to a death of a person, you have similar reactions to the death of your marriage. Elizabeth Kubler Ross described those emotions as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. That translates into:
Denial:     “This isn’t happening to me.”
Anger:      “Damn it this is happening to me!”
Bargaining:      “If I am very good or do this or don’t do that, this won’t happen to me.”
Depression:     “Oh G-d, this is happening to me.”
Acceptance:     “Thank G-d for what I learned because this happened to me.”

Each divorce is the most painful. Whether there were drugs or alcohol, abuse, infidelity, or the standard “irreconcilable differences,” the pain is intense because it is happening to you and it wasn’t supposed to happen to you. But it has, so what do you do now?

You balance the grieving with the growing, the hurting with the healing, and the losing with the loving – starting with loving yourself. To learn more, please click here.

"I’ve experienced significant improvements in my relationship with my husband and children."

 Mary

"I learned there could be a Compassionate Divorce."

Paul

“We’re building an entirely new marriage.”

Liz

“Linda guided us mindfully through the impact of divorce."

Gina

“I came to Linda seeking mediated divorce documents and came out with nothing but peace and hope."

Jeremy

“I am breaking free from destructive patterns.”

 Carol

“Linda helped me love all ‘Parts’ of my SELF!”

Deb

“With Linda’s caring guidance, I moved forward with peace and strength.”

Ann

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