I share how to come from your best SELF, how to acknowledge the “Parts” of you that are ambivalent about what you want to do, and how to create a new relationship with compassionate communication.
We all get “grumpy” from time to time, but learning how to speak from our highest and best SELF is what will allow us to truly show up and not have to hide our feelings and carry around the baggage of our resentments.
Whatever your situation — whether you are:
Hoping to make your relationship better
Feel “stuck” or want to separate
Going through a divorce
Past your divorce
A professional who wants to learn how to use this process
There is a lot to learn in the Introduction and First Chapter.
I look forward to staying connected and giving you the benefit of my 35 years as an internal family systems therapist, as a Chopra- certified teacher of meditation, yoga and Ayurveda.
This book and the introduction and first chapter blends the emotional, spiritual, legal, and financial information and support that I offer you so that you can take it into your relationship.
You can also take it into your professional capacity, and we truly can add more compassionate communication to the world.
With everything going on in the world right now, have you wondered how you could help more people communicate?
A lot of people are stuck in quarantine and they're communicating with some very bad habits. They may be sarcastic, they may be withholding, they may be judgmental, they may be secretly harboring a hope that they're going to separate once this quarantine is over. And they don't know where to turn.
I want to offer you a process so that you can help them.
If you're a therapist, a coach, a mediator, an attorney, clergy, a counselor, I want to talk to you about Compassionate Mediation®
Compassionate Mediation will help you to help people communicate compassionately about every issue they've ever considered.
And it's different — it's different from marriage counseling, it's different from divorce counseling, and it's different from typical mediation.
Because in a typical mediation, both parties are ready to get divorced, they come and talk about a divorce, and that's all they talk about. In marriage counseling, people are often feeling that the only thing they can talk about is how to save their marriage.
But what if they've secretly thought about, what would it be like to leave? How would I feel if I could find someone new? What if we could stop the fighting and start over somewhere else? And if they are having those thoughts, they can't really invest in marriage counseling as fully as they might, if they were able to talk about everything.
Compassionate Mediation fosters a safe forum for talking about everything. They can talk about their money issues, their parenting roles, their finances, their sex life, and you will have the skillset to help them do that.
I'm offering a certification program in Compassion Mediation.
So I'm Linda Kroll, I wrote the book, Compassionate Mediation, How to Add Passion to your Marriage or Compassion to your Divorce. And I've created a six hour online video program that follows the book. So if you go to CompassionateMediationProgram.com, you can see there's a six hour video series that can help an individual or a couple truly, either add passion to their marriage or compassion to their divorce. And it follows the book and it's available now.
If you are a professional who helps individuals and couples then my certification process is for you. And what that is, it's going to be a three level process. The first one starts this fall, and it's going to be eight weeks, two hours a week, where I give you every detail of the process that I created.
And what's compassionate mediation is, is a process where you become an expert in conflict resolution, where you help foster compassionate communication, and you help an individual and couples create a relationship that they truly desire and deserve. And how do you do that? Well, the course has the A to Z training on what you need to know. So it helps you do an initial interview, so you get all the information you need to understand the dynamics, the family dynamics, the family of origin dynamics, how they relate now, what parts they get triggered with with each other, and how to help them get to their highest and best self. And then you can help them create a compassionate relationship, you will help them learn the miracle of empathy.
And there are many couples that come to my office and either one or both is ready to leave the union. But instead they start talking about the issues that have divided them. But instead of being reactive, and angry, and yelling, and withholding, instead of doing that, they learn what it means to come from their highest and best self. And what that means is they're calm, compassionate, creative, curious, connected, clear, confident, all the C words of the internal family systems, IFS therapy that I practice. That helps people really relate from their heart. So they connect to their best self, they let go of the limiting beliefs and judgments that they have about their partner for themselves. They in burdened the pain from the past, with all the backlog of feelings that they can let go of and they learn how to relate from their
So just imagine, imagine a couple or an individual who right now is sitting in quarantine, wondering what's going to happen when they get out. And you can reach them online or in person, but online as well, and teach them these skills because I'll teach them to you. I'll give you the handouts, the templates, the scripts, the meditations. All of the information you need so that you can help them get to their best self, create a compassionate relationship. And then help them explore all their options because many people don't know they have options. They think they have to stay in a situation that isn't meeting their needs, or they think they have to leave. And when they think they have leave, they're not ready so they stay stuck. But you can help them with all kinds of options.
And the options can be getting into counseling, individually or together, an option could be creating more time together, an option could be planning a separation or planning a separation within the house, or just going to their own corners and giving each other a break. So there's lots of options, including what to know if they were going to separate or what to know if they were going to get divorced. And that's all the information that I give you to give them.
So, if you're a therapist, you don't have to lose your clients to mediators or attorneys. You'll have the information to give them, to talk about every issue they need to talk about. If they're going to talk about property division or maintenance or child support, you learn from me how to have these conversations. And then you help them process all those feelings that come up from the conversations they'll have. And that can go on for weeks and months and sometimes even years. And you're there supporting them the whole time.
And if you're a coach, perhaps you don't know how to get new clients. But if you learn how to become certified in compassionate mediation, you'll have your own expertise and you'll be able to reach out to attorneys and financial planners and therapists and clergy, and let them know that you can coach people in this process. And help them facilitate either a new and better relationship or a peaceful and respectful separation and divorce. And again, you're coaching them, you're advising them with all of the information, all of the data that I give here.
And if you're a mediator, I'm a mediator, a therapist, and an attorney. And in mediation, typical mediation, you often see the couple act out their reactivity in your office. So what compassionate mediation does, it gives you a whole new skillset so that you can work with the couple and really help them heal. And I have to tell you, there are many times when one or both parties have come to my office, seeking mediation, seeking to get a divorce. And in the course of learning how to come from their highest and best self, and relate with compassion and empathy, they start to talk about their issues in ways that they hadn't for years. And they actually get to a place of understanding, compassion and forgiveness and that's when miracles happen. Then they create a new relationship together, so that's possible. And with compassionate mediation, you're given the skills to offer that besides just a one way route to divorce.
And if you're an attorney, how many times have you been in a room with your clients, where over and over again, what you find is that they are fighting and you are being a therapist. Or you get late night calls because you're dealing with their emotional reactivity. Well, what compassionate mediation does for attorneys is gives you a skillset and a vernacular and a bunch of people with whom to collaborate and refer. So that you're no longer the therapist without a skillset on helping them both have compassion for what they're feeling, compassion for what their partner's feeling, and a way to hear you and go through the process. It's much calmer and much clearer and much more connected and confident than they might've been without this process.
And if you're clergy, what you can do is you can bring spirituality back to a party. Because even if compassionate mediation leads to a new marriage, that's a wonderful opportunity. If it does lead to a separation or divorce, you have the opportunity to create with a couple, a spiritual transformation that allows them to remain friends and create a restructures family. Where they have respect and kindness and their children, if they have children, feel safe. And you can do that with the skills in compassionate mediation.
So I'd love for you to check out the certification program. In the meantime, you can let me know at lindakrolle.com/tools and sign up for the compassionate mediation introductory course and from there, the certification will start soon. So I look forward to staying connected. Let me know if you have any questions, send them to me at lindakroll.com. And I hope to see you in the certification program where we all together, can help make this world a safer, saner, and more compassionate place. Thanks for checking this out, talk to you soon. Bye for now.