Happy New Year!
It's a time for love, forgiveness, compassion, and joy.
And it's also a time to “start over.”
I recently had a big disagreement with someone I love very much.
He believed he was right and I was wrong, and I believed he was wrong and I was right.
We had a standoff of cold interactions for awhile. I'm sure he wanted to unload his reasoning on me, and I wanted him to understand my position.
Instead we kept telling ourselves the same stories about each other. “He always…., she never …..”
We looked at each other through the same filters of judgment and blame and disillusionment until finally the pain of the estrangement became worse than the need to be right.
One of us reached out and requested we “start over.”
What that means is you just begin again.
You pick up in the moment. You find the best of who you are.
You relate from your heart.
You let go of all the stories you've told yourself and others about the other person.
You change the filters through which you're judging that person and stop judging, and clear your vision. And you give yourself and the other person a chance to show up as their best self and just begin again.
You can go back to the best of who you were before the argument. Or you could decide to even go forward with more love, and compassion, and forgiveness, and understanding, first of yourself and then of the other person.
Pick someone and start over today by being your best self, letting go of all your old stories, changing the old filters, and relating from your heart.
From my heart to yours, happy holidays.
Happy new year.
You can “start over” to improve your relationship by taking my FREE Relationship Assessment,
Or join me in my HeartCentered Connections Community on Facebook where we can connect in Facebook LIVES.
Hi, it's Linda. I'm at the Botanic coming to you live cuz I wanted to talk about what kind of relationship can you start over with right now And in our Compassionate Communication Community, we talk a lot about connecting to our highest self, letting go of limiting beliefs and judgments,unburdening, pain from the past and relating from our heart.
But what does that really mean?
Instead, you could take a breath right now, and as I look around at the beautiful scenery, think about a relationshipbright now that might be strained or might be in conflict.
And see if in just a few moments you can start over.
When my children were younger and teenagers and we might be
fighting about something, one or both of them might come in in the middle of an argument crying and say, “Can we start over?”
And what that means is it doesn't matter who said what, who did what, who was right, who was wrong, what did you need to do over.
It just means start over.
Just take a breath and see if you can pick up from the last time you felt good about that person and go back there and do it again.
I have some friends and some of them aren't talking to their children, some aren't talking to their siblings, and there's a way to have boundaries without disconnecting.
Even if the other person might not be someone that you want to communicate with rightnow, you don't have to communicate with them. You can just start over.
Take a deep breath, give yourself permission not to replay the old
stories, to change the filter by which you're seeing the other person, and to allow yourself to begin to think that you can start over.
People can change,Situations can change.
And forgiveness is a gift that sets you free.
You can set boundaries. You can decide you do or don't want to be connected to that person.
But if you give yourself permission to start over right now and take off that filter through which you're judging them or yourself, and stop believing the stories you keep telling yourself, and just give yourself a clean slate, then what you can do is change the energy between the two of you.
And as you change the energy, the relationship changes.
Give it a try.
Think about somebody right now with whom you're having a convict or a strain.
Take a few deep breaths, belly breaths where you can really get to your higher self.
Drop down from your head into your heart and compassionately
communicate to yourself first.
Let yourself know that you understand you have some hard feelings or hurt feelings or misunderstood feelings. And then see if you could turn that compassion outward because the other person probably does too.
They may have similar hurt feelings and sadness, and you can put
yourself in their shoes for just a minute so that you can be compassionate.
And there's a great guided meditation I have on my website. You can get it in your Compassionate Communication Care Kit at www.LindaKroll.com/CCC
You can get a guided meditation to help you get to Self.
And when you're “in Self,” you'll see that our human parts that rub up against another’s don't have to get in the way of a divine soul connection.
We can connect divinely with other people.
So I'm at the Botanic Garden waxing philosophically bringing you to see the glorious vistage is here and inviting you to start over with somebody right now.
And even if you don't tell them you're starting over, just do.
And you may find that they're going to reach out to you and you can begin a conversation without processing all the feelings of the past, even though that's good to do.
Both of you want to. But the other thing is to see the highest in
each one of you. To let all your human parts that judge just relax while you go to the top of the mountain from your highest and best Self and have compassion for yourself and have compassion for the
Even if you decide not to connect, you'll see there's more peace.
You can start over with a relationship that brings you peace, brings you joy, and gives you a way to get off the hook of whatever you're telling yourself.
We're at the Botanic Gardens
I'm about to go to the Rose Garden and we're talking about starting over.
And just like plants need to be replanted, relationships can heal and transform.
A few months ago there were tulips. Now here's roses.
Relationships can take on different flavors.
Compassionate communication,sets you free.
Whenever I come here, I just reconnect to myself, to my soul, to the earth.
if you have any questions about how to start over in a
relationship, just ask me. I'm a pro.
I'm a pro at starting over with parents and children, ex-spouses and in-laws and all kinds of people with whom you could have conflict, but you don't need to maintain the conflict, especially when there's so much beauty in the world.
Take time to smell the roses, take time to get outside, and most of all give yourself permission to start over.
And again, arose by any other name is still divine. And you are divine. Thanks for joining me. Sending love, light and hopes that wherever you're having an issue in a relationship, just start over. It really works.