If you are unhappy in your marriage, help is available.
You can go to counseling by yourself, or invite your spouse to join you for marital counseling. However, if one or both of you are so unhappy that you have secretly thought of – or openly discussed – the possibility of separating or ending the relationship, then Compassionate Mediation® is just what you need.
Compassionate Mediation® is a healing program to help you communicate with your partner to resolve all of your conflicts. It is a short-term process that helps add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. You or your partner might feel trapped in habitual patterns that create “walls” that prevent you from being your best SELF in your relationship.
You may have forgotten or neglected to relate with kindness to the person you once promised to love forever. You might also feel angry and judgmental at yourself as well as your spouse.
You may be ambivalent about whether to try marriage counseling (again) or just file for divorce. You might feel overwhelmed, scared, or lost in indecision. Fear, uncertainty, anger and resentment have possibly impacted your relationship over time.
Compassionate Mediation® provides a safe place for you to talk about everything that has been an issue in your relationship. You will learn how to communicate with compassion so that you can begin to feel heard and understood.
You learn how to share your feelings courageously, and listen to your partner do the same as you give each other the empathy that is missing from your relationship now.
You will feel safe to put down your “protective walls and judgments” so that you can forgive yourself and your partner.
Compassionate Mediation® is for you if you want to try to create a new and better marriage instead of proceeding towards a break up or divorce with hurt and anger. And if you do ultimately decide to part ways, you will be able to do so with respect and peace.
Instead of reacting in ways that continue to do harm, you learn to relate from your heart — and from your best Self.
What does it mean to be “in Self?”
When you are “in SELF,” you are more calm, clear and compassionate. You speak with more confidence, as you stay connected to your intuition and and deeper knowing.
You are not making decisions from reactive “Parts” of you that may be scared, walled, judgmental, angry or retaliatory. You are able to stay in the present moment and co-create a relationship that considers everyone’s needs, starting with your own.
Problems in your relationship are not always about “what” is said but “how” you are saying it. When speaking from SELF, you can create more acceptance, attention, appreciation and affection for each other.
At the same time, you will also be able to discuss other possibilities for a new relationship – including a separation, a legal separation, or a SELF-led Divorce®.
What is a “Self-Led Divorce?”
When divorce or separation has been considered, Compassionate Mediation offers a neutral forum to explore all options with compassion and respect. If divorce is the final outcome, you will be able to create a SELF-led Divorce® that will be for the highest good for all concerned.
A SELF-led Divorce® is one in which you and your partner communicate from your highest and best SELF with compassion, confidence, clarity and courage to peacefully and respectfully re-structure your family.
When Should You Seek Compassionate Mediation?
The sooner Compassionate Mediation® is begun, the better. You will be informed, empowered and able to communicate with honesty and empathy.
Compassionate Mediation® is helpful at any time you have problems in your relationship. You can engage in the process before, during or after your divorce.
The time to start Compassionate Mediation® is as soon as you recognize there are issues that cause you to feel distance or pain. As you communicate without judgment or blame, you may be able to heal the current situation and be able to create a new and better relationship.
Compassionate Mediation® is an opportunity to heal and transform your relationship to foster friendship and trust. If you have been thinking about a divorce, Compassionate Mediation gives you an opportunity to discuss all of your issues that have caused you to feel unhappy, angry or stuck. You can look at your situation from a new perspective and become more SELF-led.
If you are in the middle of your divorce, Compassionate Mediation is an opportunity to end the legal battles and learn a way to communicate and reach a respectful and equitable settlement.
If you are still suffering or fighting after your divorce, Compassionate Mediation gives you new skills with which to relate to your ex-spouse and create healing in your re-structured family.
Compassionate Mediation is for you if you want to try to create a new and better marriage instead of proceeding towards a break up or divorce with hurt and anger.
The sooner Compassionate Mediation® is begun, the better as both parties are informed, empowered and coming from their best SELF.
Is Compassionate Mediation the same as marriage counseling?
No, it is more.
In marriage counseling, both parties may seem to be committed to staying in the marriage. However, often one or both may have a secret thought of a separation or divorce that they may not share with their partner. This secret agenda covertly affects the way they are able to participate in the counseling since the discussion about what a separation or divorce would look like is never discussed.
Compassionate Mediation is a program to help individuals or couples who are ambivalent about their future. The conversation helps you to decide whether to divorce or create a new marriage based on who each party is now and what they each want and need from this time forward.
The short-term process of Compassionate Mediation Program gives you and your partner information about all of your options, including a separation, legal separation, or a divorce.
With full knowledge of your potential rights, responsibilities, gains and losses, you might renew your desire to truly heal your current relationship and make positive actions in the direction of meeting both of your needs.
If divorce is ultimately your final outcome, you will embark on the process with much more confidence, clarity and calm, and be able to create a SELF-led Divorce®.
Is Compassionate Mediation the same as traditional mediation?
Again, it’s more. In traditional mediation. both parties are committed to pursuing a divorce, and the mediator helps with that conversation.
Compassionate Mediation® also helps you explore whether a new relationship together is still possible as you learn Compassionate Communication. At the same time, you discuss all your rights and responsibilities to feel fully informed and empowered.
In discussing what a “new marriage” would be, you also have an opportunity to create new patterns for all of your needs – financial, parental, familial, sexual.
Compassionate Mediation allows each partner to feel heard, understood and validated no matter what final outcome is chosen. Time is provided for you to consider all your options – individually and as a couple.
Often, many of the decisions that would be addressed in a divorce mediation are covered in this process: money, parenting, roles and responsibilities, and any other issues that are causing hurt or dissension.
This way, you can begin to recognize what you have each contributed to the current situation, and what you can do yourself to make it better, including getting a job, helping more with the children, or finally knowing how to listen and empathize with your partner’s feelings.
If separation or divorce becomes your decision, you have each acquired the tools necessary to move forward with more honesty, integrity and respect.
The transition to a SELF-led Divorce becomes a healing opportunity rather than the typical adversarial proceeding it might have become.
Your family does not have to be “broken,” but can be peacefully and respectfully “re-structured.”
In the first session, you learn a new way to communicate and begin to talk about all the issues that have created distance or conflict. You also consider what your rights and responsibilities would be if you wanted to create a new marriage, separate, file for a legal separation, or pursue a divorce.
In each session, there is time for individual conversations and time to meet as a couple. With empathy, honesty and compassion, the facts and feelings are addressed and all possibilities considered.
You and your partner are both encouraged to consider how your actions and choices have contributed to the current situation.With no fault or blame, you are free to co-create new solutions with higher consciousness and more SELF-leadership. When each party is in “SELF,” you are more compassionate, clear, confident, courageous, and connected to your inner wisdom and deeper knowing.
Whether you stay together (and create a new and better relationship) or get divorced, what you learn in the Compassionate Mediation Process will enhance your current relationship and give you more awareness in future relationships.
You can decide to create a new marriage, separate without any legal papers, decide on a legal separation or work together to dissolve your union with a SELF-led Divorce.
Whatever your ultimate decision, healing can happen and peace can be restored.
Love is the answer – and it starts with loving your SELF.
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve!
No two relationships are alike. If you take a moment to tell me about yours, I can offer you solutions to help you make the changes you need now.
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