Compassionate Communication Creates New Beginnings when You’re Thinking of Divorce.
The night before I was to be in court to finalize my divorce after a very long separation, I was moved to convert my sadness, hurt and anger into hope for a new beginning. If your marriage has difficulties, or you’re thinking of divorce, I want to share with you how I did that for myself.
I wrote a prayer.
When I arrived at the courtroom, I gave a copy to my formerly beloved (and soon to be ex) husband and to his attorney. I hoped to end our marriage in a way that would set the tone for a peaceful and respectful co-creation of our future restructured family.
I wanted us to always be able to Compassionately Communicate –to connect our highest and best SELF, let go of all the limiting (and judgmental) beliefs we held, unburdened pain from the past, and relate from our hearts.
I hoped we could protect our children from the shrapnel of any more animosity or conflict.
I offered it as my prayer, and for some, it can be an intention. It was my heartfelt request for a future of respectful co-parenting, genuine friendship and Compassionate Communication.
I hope others can set the same intention or recite the same prayer.
“Love is the answer – and it starts with loving your SELF.” Linda Kroll
Linda’s Settlement Prayer
I pray for a peaceful and respectful settlement meeting, in which all parties come together from their Highest Selves and their truest connection to Your guidance, wisdom and love.
I pray that the parts of ourselves that are angry, fearful, defensive, revengeful, retributive, punitive, unloving, unforgiving, sad, young, abandoned, resentful, negative, hurting and hurtful – that all these parts be quelled with the leadership of the Self, coming from a place of trust in Your presence and light.
I pray for compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Although our marriage has come down to a business closing of money and asset division, I ask that we remember the love that brought us together, and the wonderful children, which our union has borne. For their sakes as well as our own, we wish to put an end to this process in as respectful and loving a way as possible.
Although we each carry our sadness and pain and mutual regrets, I pray that we can look beyond this difficult period to a time when we can be friends and coexist peacefully. I pray that our once intact family can be rearranged to two intact and loving homes, where our children feel connected and comfortable. I pray that we can hold in a different light the love that once joined us forever; that on the deepest level we wish each other well as we let go and let G-d direct our lives.
For the sake of all we once had, and for all we had planned to share together, let us now finalize the terms of our marital dissolution so that we are both free to get on with our lives.
Let us complete this last painful task with a sense of trust in the love we once shared and hopefully can remember after this part is over. Let us not work from purely simple and self-serving motives, but keep in mind the general welfare of each of us, and our children. Let us request our attorneys to contribute what is needed for the mutual benefit of all concerned.
In the end, let us know that we behaved civilly, that we can look back with a clear conscience, and that as much as we could, we came from our hearts. God bless us and direct us all. Amen.
His lawyer looked it over, and jokingly asked him, “Are there any changes you want to make in this document?”
We all laughed —sometimes through our tears – which is kind of like life.
Even in the heartache, there can come healing and hope.
If you or someone you know is looking at a separation or divorce, please remember that together we can change the face of divorce, one heart at a time.
To learn how to offer this process to your clients, please get the FREE ROADMAP and Video Introduction to Compassionate Mediation®
About Linda
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and author, I help others avoid the pain that my family suffered. My transformational processes of Compassionate Mediation® and SELF-Led Divorce® bring peaceful resolution instead of heartbreak.
If your relationship is at a crossroad, you ‘can add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce with Compassionate Communication and Compassionate Mediation®. Please visit www.LindaKroll.com for your free chapter of my bestselling book, and for more free gifts and resources to help you add more peace, love and joy to your life – starting now.
You can also take my Relationship Assessment and learn how to make things better!
If you’re a heart-centered professional (therapist, mediator, attorney, coach or counselor,) you can learn how to offer these processes to your clients at www.CompassionateMediationTraining.com.
Families need not be “broken,” but can be peacefully and respectfully “re-structured.”
It’s been 30 years since I first separated from my beloved ex-husband, and since that time, it has become my mission to make help individuals and couples to resolve conflict in the highest good for all concerned.
A marriage doesn’t have to end in broken hearts, families and fortunes.
And often, with the right information and counseling, you can create a new marriage with your partner now.
Two people who once promised to love each other forever can find it in their hurting hearts to learn how to restructure their families without the shrapnel that animosity leaves behind.
The holidays are especially difficult when there is conflict in your relationship.
You have to pretend everything is okay, but secretly you’re conflicted and confused. Many people hold on through the holidays only to decide to end their relationships as soon as the festivities end.
January is often called “Divorce Month,” but it doesn’t have to be.
Three years ago, I published my book, Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroads: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
As a therapist, mediator, and attorney, I have spent 30 years counseling thousands of individuals and couples who are:
Unhappy but hopeful things will improve,
Unhappy but “stuck”
Separated
Divorcing
Or Divorced
This year I finished the online course, which is six hours of videos of everything I offer to my clients in person, plus six months of live monthly calls with me.
It is my goal to reach as many people as possible with the hope that this information can help to change the face of divorce — one heart at a time.
For a limited time, I am lowering the cost of the course to make it affordable to anyone who could use this information.
So if you, or someone you know, is suffering this holiday season (or any time), please get the information and support you need to create the relationship you desire and deserve – no matter what form it takes.
I believe families need not be “broken,” but can be peacefully and respectfully “re=structured.”
So whether you want to add more passion and partnership, or think you want to part ways with as much kindness and compassion as possible, this course is for you.
Or you can get it to give to someone you care about so they can benefit from the education and empowerment they will receive.
If you have any questions, please join me on my next Live Q&A which will be coming soon.
Let me help you end this year and begin 2019 with a sense of hope and healing, so the coming year will be filled with more peace, love and joy.
This is for you if you’d like to heal and transform your relationship.
Compassionate Mediation® is a transformational and healing process of conflict resolution that will help you add passion to your marriage or compassion to your divorce. https://lindakroll.com/compassionate-m…
Compassionate Mediation is for you.
Create the Relationship You Desire and Deserve
No two relationships are alike.
If you take a moment to tell me about yours,
I can offer you solutions to help you
make the changes you need now.
Compassionate Mediation® can help you if you are not sure about what you want to do about your relationship If you’re like many of my clients, you’re feeling: ⎪ stuck ⎪ confused ⎪ anxious ⎪ guilty ⎪ hopeful that you can change your relationship and add more passion ⎪ or scared that it may lead to a separation or divorce.
I’m Linda Kroll. I’m a therapist, mediator, attorney, Chopra-certified master teacher of meditation, yoga, perfect health. As of last year, I’m the author of Compassionate Mediation: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
Island of Pain
If you’re on your own island of pain, feeling alone and lost and confused and scared, I want to help you find the bridge to wherever you’re supposed to go next. It doesn’t mean you have to take any steps. It just means you get the information you need so that when you’re ready to take a step you know that you have the information that will give you the best guidance.
My hope for you.
My intention is that you come out feeling more hopeful and see a possibility that you don’t see right now. I invite you to go to my website at Lindakroll.com and find the information that you need to get a free chapter of the book, to order the book, or just to learn more of the free gifts and resources that I have there.
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra Certified Master teacher of Meditation, Yoga and Ayurveda, I’m offering a series of videos to introduce Compassionate Mediation® as a evolutionary and healing process of conflict resolution.
You can heal and transform your relationship from your highest and best SELF for the benefit of all concerned.
Get your FREE CHAPTER of my award-winning book, and learn how your own SELF care can help you communicate your needs with courage, confidence and clarity.
I’m inviting you to take a few moments, take a few breaths, and as you focus on what a beautiful day it is here and hopefully where you are, go inside and see if you can find a feeling that you haven’t been letting yourself feel.
If it’s a big feeling like sadness or fear or anger or pain, just invite that feeling to titrate.
What does it mean to titrate? it’s like when a nurse comes into a hospital and adjusts the rate of the drip in the IV bag. You can ask your feelings to come out a drip at a time, instead of overwhelming you.
Let’s invite our feelings to titrate in a way that we can handle instead of ignoring them, instead of denying them, instead of staying too busy or eating too much.
Wherever you are now, let’s just connect with our hearts, with each other, and just for a moment allow ourselves to feel a feeling.
Sometimes when we’re lucky enough to have friends that we can feel our feelings with we’re very blessed. In the meantime, we can be our own friend to ourself and allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel.
We don’t need to eat too much or drink too much or deny them or repress them or suppress them, we can just be with what we feel. Even if we can’t be with it because it’s not right right time, let’s just send our feelings some hugs.
Let’s just your feelings know you know they’re there. Go deeper and deeper and send love to your inner child if she or he is still suffering from something unacknowledged, sending love to your inner bride or inner groom who may have some feelings.
I think when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings we get all bottled up, we get stuck, we get heavy, and dense, and slow, and sluggish, and moody.
If we could just acknowledge time to journal or meditate or take a walk or sit in nature or connect with someone we love or cry or vent or scream or whatever you need.
Just take a minute or two. Even if you don’t have that minute or two to be with the feelings, send them hugs. Let them know you’re there, let them know you’re aware.
In the quiet, compassionate, witnessing awareness that we can give our feelings, those parts of us that we exile or ignore, when we take just a few moments to give them the attention they can transform.
We’re just going to take a look at what it’s like to be in nature, to be in a place where we can explore our inner being and not have to do, be, do.
Here’s my little spot, right there, welcome you to join me, and here’s what it \looks like when I come here.
I just knew I wanted to be with you today. Nothing special, just sending love, and sending a request if you choose to join me, and taking a moment to take a breath and take a look inside and be with ourselves in a loving, compassionate, giving way that will give so many other people in our lives.
Even a few moments will make the difference. We can all pretend we’re taking a little walk deeper, and deeper, and deeper into the core of our being where everything we meet here is love; so your sad parts, your vulnerable parts, your hurt parts, your envious parts, your judgmental parts — just love them all. In loving them all they can transform.
Then when you’ve hugged your feelings send a lot of love and hugs, and understanding, and compassion to the feelings of the people in your life.
You can never have too much love, empathy or compassion.
In this moment of feeling our feelings, allowing them to breathe, bringing compassion to ourselves and ultimately to others, we can also just join hearts and hands in this beautiful experience of life.
Whatever you might be challenged with or struggling with, now or in the past, just allow yourself to feel and reach out for help.
Ask people you love to support you so that you know you’re not alone. Just know I’m sending you a lot of love, a lot of light, a lot of compassion.
Your fear can be a big feeling, but if we just allow ourselves to feel it and just tune in to what you’re afraid of that can dissipate. We don’t have to stay too busy to be afraid, we can just deal with our fear and share it because it’s universal, everything we feel is universal.
Just like the tree is supported by the earth, so too are we. Take a few deep breaths, belly breaths, and as your feet touch the ground, wherever you are, just imagine growing roots to the center of the earth.
Imagine as those roots grow deeper and wider you’re going to feel very firmly rooted, and planted, and grounded.
Invite up from the earth some nurturing and supportive energy. It goes from your feet up through your legs, your thighs, your hips, your groin, your stomach, your chest, and into and around your heart, with all the feelings that you have.
Then allow that nurturing energy from the earth to go up through your throat, your jaw, behind your eyes, your forehead, to the crown of your head, and out the crown of your head all the way to the sky.
Then invite down from the sky, universe, mother nature, higher power, God, what’s ever out there, invite down some very calm and compassionate energy.
Breathe even bigger than yourself so you surround yourself with this calm, compassionate energy. Then focus that compassion inward and find any place in your body where you’re holding tension or tightness, where you’ve got a thought or a feeling, and just allow yourself to be with it.
You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to make sense of anything, you don’t have to fix anything, you don’t have to change anything, just allow yourself to be.
In that being-ness you’re bringing full presence to the moment.
With your full presence, full awareness, and open heart, your feelings have a place to move and be embraced. As you feel your feelings you might want to journal (or not) or you just might want to take a moment or two and know that you’ve given them some attention.
Thanks for being here, thanks for being with yourself.
Spend a few more moments with yourself and come back and join me at the Botanic either virtually, or like some people can hopefully soon, in person.
Sending you a lot of love, a lot of light, and a lot of hopes for a beautiful day filled with all kinds of feelings and, most of all, ones that bring you gratitude and joy.
Sending you love, bye for now.
xoxoxo
p.s. Feel your feelings so that you can transform them, release them, and let them go. Then you have room for more peace, love and joy. Y
