(I wrote this in the form of a prayer and gave to to my husband and our attorneys on the day we were in court to finalize our divorce after 30 years of marriage. It set the tone for the future I hoped to share, and I offer it to you to help with the healing yet to come.)
I intend to have a peaceful and respectful settlement meeting, in which all parties come together from their Highest Selves and their own inner guidance and wisdom.
I intend that the parts of ourselves that are angry, fearful, defensive, revengeful, retributive, punitive, unloving, unforgiving, sad, young, abandoned, resentful, negative, hurting and hurtful – that all these parts be quelled with the leadership of the Self, coming from a place of trust in my own presence and light.
I intend to show compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Although our marriage has come down to a business closing of money and asset division, I intend that we remember the love that brought us together, and the wonderful children which our union has borne. For their sakes as well as our own, we wish to put an end to this process in as respectful and loving a way as possible.
Although we each carry our sadness and pain and mutual regrets, I intend that we can look beyond this difficult period to a time when we can be friends and coexist peacefully. I intend that our once intact family can be rearranged to two intact and loving homes, where our children feel connected and comfortable. I intend that we can hold in a different light the love that once joined us forever; that on the deepest level we wish each other well as we let go.
For the sake of all we once had, and for all we had planned to share together, let us now finalize the terms of our marital dissolution so that we are both free to get on with our lives.
Let us complete this last painful task with a sense of trust in the love we once shared and hopefully can remember after this part is over.
Let us not work from purely simple and self-serving motives, but keep in mind the general welfare of each other and our children.
Let us request our attorneys to contribute what is needed for the mutual benefit of all concerned.
In the end, let us know that we behaved civilly, that we can look back with a clear conscience, and that as much as we could, we came from our hearts.
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