There once was a lady who thought she was crazy
Her life seemed so dreadful and horrid.
Her head in a whirl, instead of a curl,
Was a “D” in the middle of her forehead.
Her work load oppressive, obligations excessive,
Her life felt just out of control.
She drove into trees, lost her wallet and keys,
Had a heartache no pill could console.
If mad, sad or mean, the “D” was not seen,
Though she wished her whole world would help bear
All the grief, fear and pains, that her life now contains,
As they offered support, love and care.
But she suffers alone, calling friends on the phone,
Seeking solace, compassion, and aid,
Just an ear, hand or shoulder will help with the boulder
That leaves her so lost and afraid.
Though she’s filled with self doubt, the “D” will fade out.
For just when she’s sure nothing’s worse.
The time will be done, and her new life begun.
She’s finally through her divorce.
(I wrote this in the form of a prayer and gave to to my husband and our attorneys on the day we were in court to finalize our divorce after 30 years of marriage. It set the tone for the future I hoped to share, and I offer it to you to help with the healing yet to come.)
I intend to have a peaceful and respectful settlement meeting, in which all parties come together from their Highest Selves and their own inner guidance and wisdom.
I intend that the parts of ourselves that are angry, fearful, defensive, revengeful, retributive, punitive, unloving, unforgiving, sad, young, abandoned, resentful, negative, hurting and hurtful – that all these parts be quelled with the leadership of the Self, coming from a place of trust in my own presence and light.
I intend to show compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Although our marriage has come down to a business closing of money and asset division, I intend that we remember the love that brought us together, and the wonderful children which our union has borne. For their sakes as well as our own, we wish to put an end to this process in as respectful and loving a way as possible.
Although we each carry our sadness and pain and mutual regrets, I intend that we can look beyond this difficult period to a time when we can be friends and coexist peacefully. I intend that our once intact family can be rearranged to two intact and loving homes, where our children feel connected and comfortable. I intend that we can hold in a different light the love that once joined us forever; that on the deepest level we wish each other well as we let go.
For the sake of all we once had, and for all we had planned to share together, let us now finalize the terms of our marital dissolution so that we are both free to get on with our lives.
Let us complete this last painful task with a sense of trust in the love we once shared and hopefully can remember after this part is over. Let us not work from purely simple and self-serving motives, but keep in mind the general welfare of each other and our children. Let us request our attorneys to contribute what is needed for the mutual benefit of all concerned.
In the end, let us know that we behaved civilly, that we can look back with a clear conscience, and that as much as we could, we came from our hearts.
I pray for a peaceful and respectful settlement meeting, in which all parties come together from their Highest Selves and their truest connection to Your guidance, wisdom and love.
I pray that the parts of ourselves that are angry, fearful, defensive, revengeful, retributive, punitive, unloving, unforgiving, sad, young, abandoned, resentful, negative, hurting and hurtful – that all these parts be quelled with the leadership of the Self, coming from a place of trust in Your presence and light.
I pray for compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Although our marriage has come down to a business closing of money and asset division, I ask that we remember the love that brought us together, and the wonderful children which our union has borne. For their sakes as well as our own, we wish to put an end to this process in as respectful and loving a way as possible.
Although we each carry our sadness and pain and mutual regrets, I pray that we can look beyond this difficult period to a time when we can be friends and coexist peacefully. I pray that our once intact family can be rearranged to two intact and loving homes, where our children feel connected and comfortable. I pray that we can hold in a different light the love that once joined us forever; that on the deepest level we wish each other well as we let go and let G-d direct our lives.
For the sake of all we once had, and for all we had planned to share together, let us now finalize the terms of our marital dissolution so that we are both free to get on with our lives.
Let us complete this last painful task with a sense of trust in the love we once shared and hopefully can remember after this part is over.
Let us not work from purely simple and self-serving motives, but keep in mind the general welfare of each of us, and our children.
Let us request our attorneys to contribute what is needed for the mutual benefit of all concerned.
In the end, let us know that we behaved civilly, that we can look back with a clear conscience, and that as much as we could, we came from our hearts. G-d bless us and direct us all. Amen.
(sung to the “tune” of “Spirit in the Sky” – lyrics below)
I’ve been blessed with a Table in the Sky
It is where I’ll go when I die.
All the people I love will be there
As I pull up my own comfy chair.
I’ve been blessed with a Table in the Sky
Though I’ve never been quite sure why
All I know is that when I go
I’ll reunite with the ones whom I loved so
First I lost my Papa, who went there alone
But I talked to him nightly.
Later Baba joined him, and Ruthie much too soon
But I could see them sitting just behind the moon.
Aunt Fay didn’t help cook, but she was out of pain
And glad to be with her parents
Annie finally joined her dear beloved Ruth
And was happy again, that’s the truth.
I’ve been blessed with a Table in the Sky
It’s what I think of when I want to cry.
They’re all waiting for us patiently
To come join our beloved family.
Naomi left too soon, but within weeks so did Dad
And the gin games began at the Table
He was free to play and eat with constant glee
Hs could devour all the sugar he was able.
And all the time, they looked down on us all
Sending love and guidance when we heard their call
We would miss them here, but they were always near
To help pick us up each time we’d fall.
I’ve been blessed with a Table in the Sky
It’s what I think of when I want to cry.
They’re all waiting for us patiently
To come join our beloved family.
Dave left one gin game to go to another
Mike later joined his other brothers
Milly out of pain joined her favorite mate
And the table would all celebrate
We all have a Table in the Sky
To turn to look toward when we die
To know that we will never be alone
For to die will be just like going home.
We will sit at our Table in the Sky
Joined by loved ones, so please don’t cry
Just remember that when you have to go
You’ll be welcomed by all who love you so.
We will miss you when you’re gone
But we know that you’ll live on
And we’ll know when our time is due
We’ll be right at that Table next to you.
We’ll be right at that Table next to you.
We’ll be together at that Table next to YOU.
TGKOW/TYDGA
Lyrics to the song “Spirit in the Sky” (by Norman Greenbaum)
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky
That’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that’s the best
Prepare yourself you know it’s a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He’s gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That’s where you’re gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You’re gonna go to the place that’s the best
Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He’s gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best
Go to the place that’s the best
