You were born enlightened. Now all you have to do is let go of what you think you already know. And as you lighten up, your relationships will improve!
Descartes wrote, “I think, therefore I am.” However you are so much more than just your mind, and sometimes it’s what you think that causes the problems. Caroline Myss says, “The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.”
Your thoughts, beliefs, and judgments have affected the ways you both habitually reacted in the past. Your minds kept you stuck in old patterns. You are learning how to relate from your hearts, where you’re open to insight, wisdom, and ultimately infinite possibilities.
If you are willing to look at your belief system and edit and revise some of your thoughts and judgments, there is a chance for a new and improved relationship to be created. As author Wayne Dyer said, “When we change the way we look at something, what we look at changes.” You can change your relationship by changing the way you look at it—starting now. Instead of reacting from your Parts, you relate from your highest and best SELF. If you are willing to put down your walls and stop looking through the filter of your judgments, you create a new beginning. You can give up the old habits and patterns and view yourself and your partner with more love and compassion. This will change your perspective and your relationship. If you treat your partner with compassion and kindness instead of judgment or blame, you will be pleasantly surprised at their reaction.
The decision to let your walls down takes courage. It takes SELF-leadership and patience. As Sam Keen has said, “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” It helps if you always remember you are both doing the best you know how to do based on your level of awareness in this present moment.
You can learn the currency of your partners need for love. Does she like to be touched, hear words of endearment, need more attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance? When you give him what he wants and needs, rather than what you wish he would give you, he often learns how to reciprocate in your preferred language of love. Compassionate Communication helps you navigate these discussions so that you both feel heard, seen, respected, and loved.
When you feel more loving, you feel more loved. It can happen in an instant. Give it a try. To learn more, please go here.